


The Sight Of Your Voice

by MaevynRaven



Series: The Sight Of Your Voice [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora needs a hug and maybe therapy, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Catra too, Deaf Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, No Smut, Non-binary character, Sign Language, They work it out I promise, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27077518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaevynRaven/pseuds/MaevynRaven
Summary: Catra, a young trans girl struggling to make ends meet, meets Adora, a Deaf jock who just moved into town, in an unlikely way: over a spilled drink on a rainy day. Though their relationship is a bit rough at first, they begin to realize that they might be growing closer than either of them ever expected.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Kyle/Lonnie/Rogelio (She-Ra)
Series: The Sight Of Your Voice [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004163
Comments: 53
Kudos: 305





	1. Like Music To My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I have finally given in. My first real attempt at fan fiction. Wish me fucking luck y’all. A few quick things!! This was inspired by like 12 different works but I’m doing my best to make it as original as possible >:)  
> I am shit at writing but I thought the idea was cute and worth a try! I hc Adora as a she/they non-binary girl, in case her pronouns ever become a bit confusing! Also, I’m gonna try and include some Spanish-speaking Catra, but Spanish is my third language so go easy on me if it’s not 100% accurate. I think that’s all! Enjoy the test-run to this story that I will hopefully make it all the way through!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally given in. My first real attempt at fan fiction. Wish me fucking luck y’all. A few quick things!! This was inspired by like 12 different works but I’m doing my best to make it as original as possible >:)  
> I am shit at writing but I thought the idea was cute and worth a try! I hc Adora as a she/they non-binary girl, in case her pronouns ever become a bit confusing! Also, I’m gonna try and include some Spanish-speaking Catra, but Spanish is my third language so go easy on me if I forget or get it wrong. I think that’s all! Enjoy the test-run to this story that I will hopefully make it all the way through!

  
Catra was not having a very pleasant day. Her morning abruptly began at 6 o’clock sharp, with the grinding sound of metal against concrete from the apartment upstairs. She had been informed a few days ago that a new tenant was scheduled to move in that day, but she was not expecting that to be happening before the fucking sun had come up. As if to foreshadow the type day she was going to have, a particularly loud thunk was accompanied by a shower of fine white dust sprinkling down from the ceiling, into her face and hair. Catra grimaced and let out a groan of frustration.

10 minutes after that cheerful awakening, Catra found herself slumped over the counter staring at the coffee pot with a dead expression on her face, bags under her eyes and a bad taste in the back of her mouth. She still had about an hour to go before she needed to leave for work, but the crashes and thuds from upstairs had not yet abated, making sleep an impossibility. So instead she dragged herself out of bed, threw on the clothes she had worn yesterday (they smelled fine, so Catra figured no one would notice), and made her way into the kitchen she shared with her two roommates, Scorpia and Entrapta. Clearly they were not as bothered by the unwelcome racket as she was. Entrapta was sitting cross-legged on the couch, face illuminated by the blue glow of the computer in her lap. She probably hadn’t even slept that night, Catra thought. Scorpia was sitting next to her, already dressed and slightly sweaty, clearly just back from her morning workout. She called out a cheery greeting to Catra, a wide smile stretching across her face. Catra just grunted and made a b-line towards the beat up old coffee machine.

By 6:30 she was awake enough to begin dreading her shift at work: 8:00am to 6pm at Black Garnet. Opening _and_ closing shift. 10 hours of customer service and Shadow Weaver breathing down her neck. She was the strictest boss Catra had ever had. Well, she was the only boss Catra had ever had, but she imagined that most other managers at least gave their employees a second to breathe, or forgave small slip ups. Instead, Shadow Weaver managed to find a problem with every tiny thing Catra did. She’d “forget” to find a replacement employee on days Catra called in sick, then punished her for not finding anyone to cover for her. She booked her for double shifts whenever she could get away with it, and would harshly reprimand Catra at every possible opportunity. If the looming threat of rent and bills wasn’t constantly lurking over Catra’s shoulder, she would’ve stormed out with her middle fingers to the sky ages ago. Not to mention, working with customers was a nightmare for the dysphoria that simmered in her chest whenever she was forced to speak out loud. She knew her voice passed just fine, but she couldn’t help but wince at the slightly raspy words that escaped her lips, and hours upon hours of speaking aloud weighed on her extremely heavily. So at 6:55 am, face newly adorned with sharp winged eyeliner and an angry scowl, she grabbed her keys, tossed on her sleek black leather coat, and left the apartment, making a point to slam the door behind her.

She was met with the crisp chill of the late November air stinging the skin on her face. Catra took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The refreshing scent of dead leaves and smoke that accompanied most autumn days filled her nostrils, burning coldly. It served to wake her up even more than the mug of mediocre coffee had. It was a brief moment of pleasantness that was sure to be short-lived. She set off at a slow pace, walking purposefully but clearly not in a rush, hands in her pockets and hair sticking out wildly behind her. She let the even clunking of her heavy boots against the sidewalk slowly guide her into her usual facade of cool, uncaring confidence. She bit her tongue in an attempt to quell the anxiety squirming in her stomach as every footfall brought her closer to a day full of entitled customers, heavy boxes, and harsh criticisms. Catra was not going to let what little status she had acquired among her coworkers fumble by showing fear. She would take whatever Shadow Weaver threw her way in stride, not letting her mask slip for a second. And yet, she still felt the familiar, writhing nausea threatening to climb its way up her throat as she walked. She couldn’t help but stop for a moment, breathing deeply and trying to ground herself. _I am strong_ , she repeated to herself in her head. _Fear holds me back, I am not afraid of Shadow Weaver, I am not weak._ She scowled as a familiar surge of flaming anger at how pathetic she felt flashed through her chest. However, it seemed to burn out the roots of panic that had been taking slowly hold of her, so she figured it was for the best. Adjusting her coat, she set off again, at a slightly more brisk pace this time.

6:47 pm. The last customer finally left the store, almost an hour after closing time. Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio had clocked out half an hour before, leaving Catra to angrily tap her sharp nails against the wooden surface of the countertop and send a needle-sharp glare into the back of the person meandering through the shop. If Shadow Weaver didn’t have a strict “the customer is always right” policy, no doubt her kissing up to Hordak, the branch’s owner, Catra would’ve shoved them out the door and slammed it in their face the second the clock hit 6. Instead, she waited, glowering at them while frustration bubbled in her stomach. Finally, the person turned and walked out the door silently. Without buying anything. They had spent an hour browsing through band tees, jewelry, and pop-culture paraphernalia, only to decide they didn’t actually want anything. Catra wanted to scream. She turned on her heel and punched the light switch next to the register. She had long since finished cleaning up while she waited, held up by this idiot, so she made her way towards the exit as quickly as possible. She switched on the alarm, slammed the door, locked it, and stormed off down the street, growling a stream of violent profanities through gritted teeth.

It had started to rain while Catra was at work that day, so as she left the building she found herself in a down a dark, wet street, absolutely fuming. A passer by quickened his pace when Catra made eye contact, miss-matched irises almost hidden by how deeply her brow was furrowed locking with his, and she let out a snort of disgust through her bared teeth. The rain began to worsen, wind billowing down the road and pelting drops of cold water into her face. Letting out a prolonged, tortured groan, she turned and threw open the door to the nearest building. It was a small, fancy-looking coffee shop. A sign above the door in irritatingly delicate white and gold lettering announced the name of the establishment: Bright Moon Café.

So. Here Catra was. Running on 3 hours of sleep, soaking wet, chilled to the bone, with an hour of her life just wasted after a nearly 11 hour long shift, throat sore from tightening it to speak all day, storming into a sickeningly pink coffee shop. Needless to say her thoughts were racing, and because of this she wasn’t looking where she was going, which is why the icing on the cake of this shit day arrived in the form of a tall, muscular blonde crashing directly into Catra, spilling most of an iced coffee down her front. Catra stepped back, grabbing at and un-sticking the now soaking shirt from her midsection as she looked down at the large stain seeping its way into the fabric. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you not have eyes?! En tu madre, if this shirt is ruined I’ll kill you”, Catra spat at the girl, who was quickly bending down to pick up the clear plastic cup from off the floor. She didn’t respond, though her face was contorted in what appeared to be panic of some kind. “¿No me oíste?”, Catra snapped. “I said watch where you’re fucking going”. Standing up, the stranger finally made eye contact with Catra and the fleeting thought of “ _oh fuck_ ” danced through her mind before she swatted it away. Just because she was tall and muscular and build like a bull and 100% Catra’s type did not mean she was going to get a free pass on this. The girl in front of her quickly pointed at herself and then tapped a finger to her cheek twice, first next to her ear and then next to her mouth. She frowned at Catra, looking at her intently. Catra cocked her head before recognition dawned on her: it was the ESL sign for “I’m Deaf”. Frantically, Catra thought back to the few Etherian Sign Language classes she had been required to take in high school. Sloppily, she signed out “Are you blind too? What is your problem?” The girl’s eyes, which were previously filled with concern, flickered with something else. Hurt, maybe? Regret? She placed a fist to her chest and rubbed it frantically in a circle around her heart: “I’m sorry! Let me buy you a drink to apologize?” Catra rolled her eyes. “Fine”.

As they approached the counter, Catra took note of two employees behind the register: one was a short girl with annoyingly bright pink hair, the other a taller boy with broad shoulders and big smile. Catra decided that she hated them both. “Hi, welcome to Bright Moon!”, beamed the boy, already pulling out a handful of napkins and shoving them in Catra’s direction, eyeing her soaking clothes. Still grumbling, she yanked them out of his hand and began dabbing at her shirt. “Can I get you anything?”, the girl asked, with much less enthusiasm than her coworker. Small name tags on their uniforms identified the pair as Glimmer and Bow. Catra rolled her eyes again at that. “Whatever’s the most expensive”, she responded, glowering at the tall woman standing next to her, who was anxiously tapping her foot and looking at Catra with her brows furrowed. Catra glared back until the girl broke her gaze and looked down at the floor, seemingly developing a sudden fascination in her dirty old running shoes. “Hey”, Catra said out loud, before remembering that the girl couldn’t hear her. She waved her hand rudely in front of her face instead. The girl glanced up quickly, an anxious expression on her face. “Your name, what is it”, Catra signed. The lady looked distracted for a minute, before she seemed to register that Catra was asking her a question. Quickly, she fingerspelled A-D-O-R-A. Catra gave a curt nod. “And you?”, the girl signed back. Catra hesitated, then shrugged. C-E-..N...? No that wasn’t right. Catra waved her hands like she was dismissing her previous sign. Slowly, she managed to spell out C-A-T-R-A. In her defense, she hadn’t needed to sign her name out for the better part of 5 years. Adora nodded before returning to her staring contest with the floor, which she somehow seemed to be winning.

The tension between them was finally broken by the pink-haired girl, Glimmer, slamming an excessive looking drink in a fall-themed paper cup down next to them on the counter. She pointed to the register, where a small LED sign was displaying a number. Adora fumbled for a card and inserted it into the slot. After a pause, followed by a beep and a flash of green light, a small message of confirmation floated across the screen that the transaction was complete. Adora signed something to Catra that she didn’t recognize. She made a lightbulb-like sign with her finger while shaking her head to indicate she had no idea what Adora was trying to say. The girl looked briefly annoyed but spelled out “we even now?” Catra felt like they were very much not even, but decided it wasn’t worth pushing any further, she just wanted her day to be over. She raised a hand a knocked twice on an invisible door while irritatedly glancing away, indicating that yes, they were indeed even. Instantly, the expression on Adora’s face turned to excitement. Her eyes crinkled at the edges as she grinned at Catra, all signs of worry immediately washed away, replaced with giddy joy. Catra was taken aback by this, and all she could do was grab her drink, spin on her heel, and make her way quickly towards the exit, not at all blushing at the way those blue-grey eyes had been sparkling at her just a second ago. As she left, she quickly glanced through the window, and caught a glimpse of the tall boy behind the counter signing something to Adora. Catra shook her head and began to complete the walk back to her apartment.

Thankfully, the rain had stopped while Catra was inside the café with Adora. She sipped her drink in silence as she walked, more thoughtful than angry now. What a strange girl. Though she’d been living in the area for nearly her whole life, Catra had never seen her around before. She felt a twinge of embarrassment as she remembered the prominent muscles that she could see flexing through the back of Adora’s tank top as she had crouched down to grab her cup off the floor. Shaking her head, she finished the drink and tossed the empty cup into a nearby garbage can.

By the time Catra made it back, one emotion of the many that were scrambling about within her head during the walk home had won out against all the rest: exhaustion. She was internally grateful at the sight of an empty apartment as she entered; clearly Scorpia was already in bed and Entrapta had most likely moved her work to one of the four desktops that took up a majority of her already small living space. The dark, quiet living space/kitchen was a blessing to her tired eyes. If Catra had to use her voice one more time that day, she was going to cry. Except Catra didn’t cry, she _refused_ to cry. Tears meant weakness, and she would _not_ show weakness, not to anyone. She settled instead for angry outbursts that only served to shove her only friends away and left her feeling alone, hateful, hated. Catra made her way into her bedroom and quietly pulled the door closed. She hung her coat by the hood on the doorknob and tossed the stained shirt that now smelled of coffee to the floor, on top of the growing pile of her other dirty clothes. Making her way to her bed, she sat down with her back to the door. She stared out the foggy window, looking out at what little parts of the city were lit up by street lights. Her eyes were met with the familiar sign that was nailed to the fence that enclosed the train stop across the street from their complex. “Caution: Freight loading zone. Keep out”. Years ago, some teen had taken a knife to the wooden warning sign, carving out most of the letters so only the words “fright zone” remained. It was a common nickname for the section of the city in which Catra lived. The “bad part of town”. Industrial and smog-covered, divided into many small pieces by the train tracks that carried most of the city’s economy through on their way to and from somewhere else, it was a stark contrast to the clean and preppy residential area on the other side of town. Catra watched as a train passed by, cars illuminated by the dull orange glow of the street lamp next to the fence. Catra had been apprehensive at first about sleeping so close to such a noisy place, but she quickly discovered the rattling of trains on rusty old tracks was extremely soothing. She rolled over in bed, turning to face the ceiling. She thanked every star that had ever shone through the thick cloud of smoke that covered the sky, which was only about 6 or 7 on a really clear day, that she had the day off work tomorrow. Still turning the days events over in her mind, Catra dozed off into a deep, surprisingly peaceful sleep.


	2. A Star Through The Smog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scorpia convinces Catra to accompany her on a morning run. To Catra’s surprise, they run into the girl she met at the café once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I copy pasted this from the notes app on my phone so please tell me if the format for their texts is fucky so I can get on a computer to fix it!!!

There were a lot of things Catra didn’t understand. Most of them were technology related, such as how the radio worked, or what exactly was happening when a telephone call was made. Some things were more practical, like how exactly she was supposed to do taxes or make bread without burning it. Basically every word that came out of Entrapta’s mouth seemed to be in a code designed for a foreign language that required a supercomputer to crack. But most of all? Catra could not for the life of her figure out why the hell exercise was a morning activity. It was the crack of dawn, the sun just beginning to peak its way through the hazy smoke that covered the Fright Zone’s sky, and here Catra was, jogging on a winding trail in Whispering Woods Park with Scorpia. The morning was chilly, and a dreary fog blanketed the forest as the pair ran. Catra cursed herself for letting Scorpia talk her into coming. She would have been perfectly happy only working out during their sparring sessions. But Scorpia had insisted that it was important to balance out her exercise and get some cardio in too. Catra secretly enjoyed working out, she liked the catharsis of using her muscles and she felt powerful every time Scorpia stopped for a break while Catra still had miles left in her. That wouldn’t stop her from complaining the entire time though, especially because Scorpia had dragged her out of bed for it. She grumpily remembered something about “the trails being mostly clear and the weather being nicer in the morning”, but Catra wasn’t about to agree with her, at least not out loud. She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of being right. Still, she admitted to herself that she was actually having a nice time.

They passed a small handful of early-morning meanderers as they made their way, but the trails were mostly empty. A majority of the people they encountered were also jogging along through the twisting paths, most coming and going on the many branches and forks in the path, never staying within eyesight for very long. The Whispering Woods was a popular place; it was a huge, lush forest in the center of town that had some kind of government protection keeping it from being cut down. The trails that cut through it were all beaten dirt, the city hadn’t wanted to disturb the forest by paving paths within it. It was easy to get lost, so there were old wooden signs posted around every couple of bends displaying a map with a “you are here” marked by a red x. Most of the signs were half-swallowed by the woods, vines creeping along the sides and tops and moss hugging the old planks, and some were devoured completely and entirely unreadable. It was pretty, in the way that old and forgotten things have a sort of forlorn beauty to them. 

Catra was lost in thought as she jogged, focusing on her breaths and trying to keep an even pace with Scorpia, who was clearly having a much less pleasant time than her. She was panting aggressively and had stopped Catra several times so they could walk while she caught her breath. She was just fantasizing about the breakfast she could have been having if she hadn’t been ripped so rudely from her warm blankets, so she was surprised to find a jogger that had entered the path behind them stop next to her. She glanced to her left and jumped as she saw the blonde haired girl from a few days ago beaming at her. Catra quickly regained her composure, deciding she was not going to be flustered this time around. She cocked her hip slightly and threw on a lazy smile. She started to speak before remembering  _duh, she can’t hear me._ Instead, she just waved. Not her smoothest entrance, but not her worst. Adora’s cheeks were flushed from running, and several strands of hair had come loose from her pony tail. She heard Scorpia’s voice coming from over her shoulder, still slightly out of breathe but questioning in tone: “Hey Wildcat! Do you know this person?” Catra turned her head back and responded, “yeah, remember that girl I was mad about the other day?” Scorpia hummed thoughtfully. “You mean the one that tossed her drink on you and had a ‘dumb hair poof and an even dumber face’?” “Yup that’s the one!” Catra grinned toothily and turned back to Adora. “This is S-C-O-R-P-I-A”. She signed. “Her name’s Adora”, she said out loud to Scorpia. “She can’t hear you, but I can try and interpret for you-“ Catra was caught off guard once again as Scorpia moved next to her right away and began signing quickly and gracefully. Adora’s eyes lit up and she began signing back, and Catra had to rack her brains to try and keep up with the conversation. As far as she could tell, Scorpia was asking about Adora’s morning, and Adora was gleefully signing something about her new roommates and how lovely the park was. Catra crossed her arms and scoffed irritably. What were the odds that she would run into this girl two times in the same week? Scorpia seemed to detect her annoyance at being brushed off to the side and stepped back so that Catra was now standing in front of Adora. “Well don’t let me get in the way, you two were clearly hitting it off”, Catra signed shakily. She winced as she was sure some of her hand movements were way off. “Why don’t you speak out loud and I can sign for you!” Scorpia offered, smiling encouragingly at Catra. There were few things Catra hated more than being ignored, but being pitied was definitely one of them. “No, it’s fine”, she snapped back, maybe a little too harshly. Tentatively, she added a quiet “but thank you.” Determined to come out of this situation on top, Catra pulled a pen from her pocket, grabbed Adora’s hand, and scribbled something on her palm. She winked and her, and signed “talk to you later, princess”, before tucking the pen back into her pocket. With that, she picked a direction and began jogging again. She glanced over her shoulder to see Scorpia hurriedly signing a goodbye to Adora before she took off to catch up with Catra. “What was that?”, she inquired when they were side by side once more. “My number”, Catra responded, the ghost of a confident grin still on her lips. 

——————————————————————————————

“-which is why you want to format it like this. That way the graph displays all of your point values and automatically calculates the line of best fit. And then you plug in this code here that I wrote this morning...” Entrapta was excitedly talking to Scorpia as the trio of roommates sat around their small kitchen table. It was cluttered with papers, takeout boxes, and Entrapta’s laptop, which she was pointing at as she spoke animatedly. Scorpia was nodding intently but the expression on her face made it clear she had no idea what was going on. Catra was sitting back in her chair, one foot up on the table and the other lazily pushing the front legs off the ground, so that she was leaning back as she took another bite of her dinner. Catra rarely understood the things that excited Entrapta, but the joy on her face was so honest and intense when she was talking about tech that even Catra’s heart softened enough that she refrained from making too many rude remarks. Less than usual sure, but of course it wouldn’t be friendship if she didn’t talk at least a  little shit. For now though, she was content to let Scorpia do the listening and nodding. Catra had something else on her mind: the notification that had arrived on her lock screen earlier that evening.

7:41 PM - unknown sender

Hey Catra ;) hope I’m not

interrupting anything. I figured you

wouldn’t be too busy to answer,

seeing how desperate you were to 

give me this number.

That was exactly why Catra was leaving that text unanswered. She  _would_ come off as desperate, responding right away. So instead, she let Adora wait while she finished up eating. To be honest, Catra wasn’t exactly sure why she had given Adora her number in the first place. Sure, it was weird that they had met twice, but it wasn’t like Catra had any attachment to her. In the moment, she had figured it would be the best way to catch the other girl off guard, but she couldn’t place why her stomach had fluttered a little when she had read the text. Catra yawned and stretched lazily, moving her foot down and bringing the chair back to the floor with a thud. She set the empty box of rice down and tossed her fork onto the table. She glanced at the clock on the wall, which displayed the letters 7:58 with a gentle blue glow. She figured 20 minutes was long enough to make Adora wait. Pulling up her messaging app, she clicked on the waiting text that still had a blue dot next to it. 

Catra

don’t go calling me desperate when

you were the one blushing furiously  


at your hand earlier

Adora 

That was from running

and we both know it!!

And anyway you’re still

the one who gave it to me.

If I didn’t know you I’d think

you were interested in me ;)

Catra

you don’t know me.

we’ve talked two times

Adora

But you don’t deny 

that you’re into me?

Catra

oh fuck off, princess

Catra gritted her teeth as she felt warmth rising to her cheeks. She clicked her phone off and set it face down on the table, ignoring the buzz of another text arriving. She realized that Entrapta was no longer talking about whatever computer program she had been working on earlier. She glanced up to see both Entrapta and Scorpia looking at her, Scorpia with a mischievous grin on her face and Entrapta seemingly taking some kind of notes. “The fuck are you two staring at?”, Catra snapped. “Nothing, nothing. Just seems like you’re really hitting it off with that girl. And I can see why you like her I mean, for one thing she’s really toned, no denying those muscles. She’s cute too, her eyes are like-“ Catra cut off Scorpia’s teasing by tossing a (thankfully closed) box of half-eaten lo mein at her face. She looked away and growled as the blush turned from pink to a very obvious red. “Whatever. I just wanted to make her uncomfortable. I’m not actually into her. Plus, she has no manners. She barely even apologized for ruining that shirt! I can do much better.” “Hmm... so that’s why Catra was checking her phone every five minutes today...”, she heard Entrapta mutter. “WAS NOT!” Catra stood up, grabbed her phone and half-walked-half-ran to her room, locking the door behind her. It was’t like her to get flustered like this, and she didn’t like it.

After a moment of sitting in silence with her back against the door, she pulled her phone out to look at what Adora had sent her before she had stormed out of the kitchen.

Adora

Well, if you ever

decide I am worth 

seeing again in person,

I’m at Bright Moon most

days. My roommates 

work there so I tend 

to stop by for free drinks.

I could score you a coffee

free of charge!

Catra

so you didn’t even need to pay for 

that drink the other day? what

kind of apology is that

Adora

No no, I did actually

buy that one. I did

genuinely feel bad.

I hope the stain comes

out easy! I’m sorry again.

Catra

whatever, justforget about it

Adora 

Aww, I knew you’d 

come around and 

forgive me :)

Catra

this is not me forgiving you!

ugh you are such a 

nightmare to talk to

so. how’d you end up here 

anyway? not a lot of folks

moving to town these days.

it ain’t exactly scenic

Adora

Oh! Actually I’m from

here! My parents moved

me to a different town

when I was 7, but I lived

right by Thaymore before

then. 

Wait, how did you know

I had just moved back?

I never told you.

Catra

cus I would’ve remembered 

running into an idiot like you 

before and this town isn’t

exactly huge

Adora

Hey! I’m not an idiot :(

Catra

keep telling yourself that, idiot

Adora

How about you? Are you

from town?

Catra

yup. born and bred horde scum

Adora

Aww you went to 

the same school as

me! I wonder if we 

ever met and just

don’t know it!

For some reason, that sentence made an unfamiliar emotion twist it’s way through Catra’s gut. Longing, maybe? Like she was missing something long lost to time. It was a deep and overwhelming feeling, and whatever it was, Catra decided she did not like it. 

Catra

doubt it. like i said, i’d remember 

a dumbass like you. not to

mention i transitioned in middle

and high school. you wouldn’t 

recognize me

Adora

Oh, you’re trans?! 

That’s awesome!

Catra rolled her eyes so hard she thought she could see the back of her skull. She hated strangers talking about her being trans. She didn’t know why she had even mentioned it. She wasn’t expecting what came next though.

Adora

I’m actually non-binary

myself! It’s nice to meet

someone like me in the

sea of cis people!

Catra felt her heart soften a bit. She supposed it was better than Adora gawking and asking invasive questions, or giving her the usual backhanded compliments she was used to getting when she told people she was trans. 

Catra

ah shit have i been misgendering

you this whole time?

Adora

Naw I use both she/her 

_and_ they/them :)

Catra

ok good

Adora

You don’t sound very

excited. Did I say

something wrong? 

Catra

nah i just uh... didn’t really 

expect us to have so much

in common

Adora

Better be careful

Catra. It almost

sounded like you

were saying something

nice about me just then.

Catra

ugh stop it or i take it all back

Adora

<3

Now  _that_ made Catra’s face flush once again. God damn it. As much as she tried to hate her, she couldn’t help but feel oddly comfortable around Adora, like the two of them had been friends their whole lives. Something about talking to them just felt... right. Catra couldn’t help the smile that slowly made its way across Catra’s lips as she and Adora texted late into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Adora references that they went to school together, I imagine that The Horde is a local school sports team name, in case that was confusing


	3. Your Reflection Looking At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra arrange a meeting. Catra reveals a slightly embarrassing secret, and Adora struggles to find the words for the feelings now plaguing her when she's around this girl.

The first thing Adora was aware of was a gentle, golden glow, radiating warmly from the outside of their eyelids. As their senses slowly returned to them, they inhaled deeply, cool air filling their lungs. Sleepily, they opened their eyes. Sunlight was spilling over their room from the crack in the curtains. They could make out the bright blur of the sun just beginning to peak over the rooftops of the city. It was a deep orange color, sending hundreds of sparkling red and soft pink hues cascading across the deep ocean of the early morning sky. Adora stretched and let out a huge, lazy yawn. They rolled over and stretched an arm out, reaching for their phone. This had quickly become part of their morning routine in the week or so since Catra had given them her phone number. The first thing they did when they woke up was message each other, mostly Adora sending something teasing or flirty while Catra keyboard smashed complaints at how disgusting the morning was. Adora smiled as the light of their phone screen flickered on, displaying 4 new messages from Catra.

Catra - 5:49 am

it’s so fucking early I  
want to die

how the hell do you  
do this every morning

shadow weaver has me  
booked for another double  
shift today. the third this week!

if you want to drop by and  
save me from this nightmare  
please do

Adora  
Is this your way of asking me out? ;)  
I’m flattered!

Teasing Catra was one of Adora’s favorite pastimes. She loved the irritated sarcasm Catra always sent back her way, clearly squeamish. Smiling softly, she closed her phone screen and set it on the sheets next to her. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to soak in the warmth of the sun on her face. After a quiet moment of blissful comfort, she slid out of bed and began readying herself for the day ahead.

Adora hummed quietly as they made their way into the kitchen, ponytail newly tied up, hair poof centered and tidy. They wore a simple white tank top and a cozy pair of grey leggings, with their favorite red flannel tied neatly around their waist. They meandered over to the cabinets, pulled out a pan and set it on the stove, still humming. Though they couldn’t hear the notes, the soft vibration of their voice in their throat was still calming. Bow was in the living room, sipping a mug of coffee and laying back in a cozy armchair. Adora waved a cheery good morning to him, which he reciprocated with a grin.

“Morning Adora!”, he signed, setting down his mug.

“Hey Bow! Is Glimmer up yet? I’m thinking about making us all breakfast.”

”Does that question really need answering?”, Bow responded with an eyebrow raised and a knowing expression on his face. Adora glanced over at the cracked door to Glimmer’s room. The blackout curtains were drawn, blanketing most of her living space with shadow, but Adora could see the shape of a figure splayed out across the bed, halfway on it and half sliding off onto the floor. Her head was covered by a pillow. Adora looked back at Bow and nodded solemnly. Glimmer was decidedly not a morning person.

After a few minutes of clattering spatulas and pans, slightly burned toast, and a handful of muttered swears, Adora set down a plate piled high with eggs and toast on the table. It was a simple breakfast, but Adora had been very determined, biting her lip in concentration the entire time and precisely making sure everything was cooked well enough. The omelets were stuffed with leftover bacon and melted cheese, and the toast had a fine layer of cinnamon and sugar dusting it. Adora set down two more mugs of coffee as she took her place at the table. All in all, it was a lovely meal. Glimmer finally hobbled out of her room as Bow and Adora began eating, likely coaxed out by the promising smell of food that had no doubt wafted into her and Bow's shared room. She was hunched over sleepily and rubbing her eyes as she shuffled over and plopped down unceremoniously onto a chair.

“What’s the special occasion?”, she asked blearily, her signs slow and lazy, before taking a huge swig of coffee. She grimaced at the taste but didn’t comment on it. Adora was more concerned with the fact that it had been boiling less than two minutes ago, but her roommate seemed unfazed by the heat.

“What do you mean”, Adora asked innocently, even though a smile was obviously tugging on the edges of their mouth, threatening to betray their mock curiosity. Adora had mentioned Catra off-handedly a few times in the past week, especially the night they first met, but they hadn’t yet shared the extent to which they had grown close. Something about the connection they shared felt… special. Secret. Like it was just meant for the two of them to experience.

“I mean, you never cook anything. I didn’t even know you knew how! And you’ve been weirdly giddy all week. You did the dishes yesterday, Adora. The dishes. And the laundry. And cleaned the living room. I know you like busy work but that’s out of character even for you. So spill it, we don’t keep secrets in this household.” Glimmer began aggressively devouring a piece of toast, not breaking eye contact with Adora. She couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s grumpy demands. She wasn’t sure that a two bedroom apartment the three of them had been renting for just a few months counted as a ‘household’, but it was pointless to argue with Glimmer at this hour.

“Well firstly, I’m insulted. I can cook! I made oatmeal just the other day. And I didn’t even burn it this time. And secondly, maybe I’ve just decided to try having a more positive outlook on life. You might benefit from doing the same…” the last sentence was subtle and sarcastic, at which Glimmer squinted grumpily.

“Fine, fine. Keep your secrets.” She waved her hands dismissively. “But I’ve got my eye on you. I’m gonna figure out what’s going on with you if it’s the last thing I do.” As if to accentuate her point, Glimmer dramatically pointed two fingers at her own eyes before turning her hand around to jab them at Adora’s. She huffed and sunk back into her seat, taking a huge bite of eggs. There was a moment’s pause before Glimmer added “Also thanks for the food. It’s really good or something”, still looking irritated and sleepy.

After breakfast, Adora made their way out for a morning run. It was nice out, the air was chilly and crisp and the sky had faded into a light blue, hazy clouds slowly drifting in the wind overhead. The sun had fully emerged over the skyline and was blazing warmly to the east. Adora stopped at the bottom of the steps to their apartment in order to stretch, before taking off at a steady pace. They made their way down the even sidewalks, enjoying the feeling of the wind blowing in their hair. They could see the tips of trees of the Whispering Woods off in the distance, swaying slowly in the autumn breeze. They shifted their direction towards one of the many paths that entered the forest. Adora liked taking a different trail every morning. It felt like the woods shifted and changed when you weren’t looking so that each time Adora ventured in, they found somewhere totally new. If it weren’t for the maps littered throughout the area they would have surely gotten lost in the maze of trees and shrubs, never to be seen again. They wondered briefly if they would encounter Catra again, before remembering that she would be at work today. Adora’s mind drifted to her offer to stop by. They had never been to Black Garnet before, but they had passed the place a few times during her time here. Adora didn’t have a set workday, freelance cartography gave them the freedom to choose their work hours, so they decided they would finish their jog, get cleaned up, and then pay Catra a visit. They hadn’t seen her in person since the two of them had met on the trail with Scorpia, and the thought of seeing her in person again filled Adora with a kind of excited anxiety. They continued their run at a slightly quicker pace, a newfound spring in their step carrying them forward towards a new day.

——————————————————

Adora reached a snag in her plan when she opened her drawers to pick out an outfit. She didn’t know why exactly she was so hung up about this, it’s not like this was a date or anything. Though, come to think of it, Catra had never responded denying that she was asking Adora out, so she figured she should put in some effort, even if it was just to throw Catra off her game. It was funny, watching the other girl’s previously smooth confidence stutter with embarrassment whenever Adora hit on her. It was all just friendly banter, she had decided the second day of texting Catra. The slight flutter that always seemed to appear in her stomach at seeing Catra's name appear on screen was unrelated. Probably. Adora smacked her face with her palm, as if to scold herself for not focusing. Finding the right clothes was always hard for her. No matter what she seemed to try, she always felt uncomfortable, never truly like herself. Sighing, she ran through her options again. If Bow had been home, she would’ve asked him for advice, but he and Glimmer had left for work almost two hours ago, and she didn’t want to give them any ammunition to tease her with. If they figured out Adora was excited from talking to some girl, she would never hear the end of it. Finally, Adora just decided to close her eyes and let the universe decide. She reached out, grabbed a coat, a shirt, and some pants, and tossed them onto her bed. She opened her eyes to see what she cards she had been dealt. Laying on her mattress was a pair of ripped black jeans that Glimmer had insisted she buy the last time they went shopping, a simple but stylish muscle tee, and her red varsity field hockey jacket. Huh. Adora nodded approvingly. She could make this work. Pulling the clothes on, she tucked her shirt into her pants, slid on a pair of beat-up but comfortable old work boots, and completed the look with a double belt she had picked up at a shop while on vacation a few summers ago. She clicked it shut, the winged clasp snapping satisfyingly as the latch slid into place. Adora rolled up the sleeves of her coat, popped her collar, and left the apartment.

It was about a forty-five minute walk to Black Garnet from The Best Friend Squad Homebase (Glimmer and Adora had protested this name fiercely but Bow refused to back down on it until it stuck). As they walked, Adora wrinkled their hands nervously, before sticking them in their pockets for a few minutes, then pulled them out again to tap nervously on their leg. They didn’t know what had them so flustered, but with every step they took towards Catra their stomach leaped. Adora almost jumped out of their skin when they felt their phone buzz in their pocket. They fumbled for it quickly, pulling it from their back pocket.

Catra  
you know what? sure. if you  
count hauling boxes of band tees for  
four hours a “date”, then yes  
i’m definitely asking you out

Adora knew that Catra’s text was dripping with sarcasm, but she couldn’t help but feel a nervous pit form in her stomach. She bit her lower lip anxiously as she started and then deleted several replies. None of them sounded right. How the tables had turned, was this how Catra felt whenever Adora jokingly flirted with her? She’d never been very in touch with her emotions, so she really didn’t have a word for what she was feeling. Finally, Adora gave up on responding. She figured showing up at all would count as a good enough response. She slipped her phone back into her pocket and continued on her way.

—————————————————

The door to Black Garnet was heavy. It was bordered with black metal and had a glass center. The windows of the store were full of shirts on display, mostly black, depicting various popular shows and bands. As they opened the door, Adora could feel a fast and steady drum beat playing over the speaker. Though they couldn’t hear the music, they could tell it was a metal song. They took a step in and looked around. The walls and ceiling were painted black, lined with framed pictures and merchandise. Racks in the middle displayed a wide range of clothing, jewelry, and random accessories, most of which were either black, spikey, or both. It was a harsh contrast to Bright Moon’s calm, bright atmosphere, but it still somehow felt welcoming. Adora looked around for Catra, but couldn’t spot her anywhere. Maybe she was in the back? They made their way towards the middle of the store, still searching for Catra's signature wild hair and angry scowl. There was an employee behind the register, a strong looking girl with various piercings and tattoos, who looked up as Adora approached. She had a lanyard around her neck adorned with various pins and patches. Adora recognized a few popular band logos they frequently saw, a pronoun pin, and the polyamorous flag, as well as several other logos and symbols they didn't know. A name tag fastened to her shirt identified the girl as “Lonnie”. She said something to Adora which they didn’t catch. They were used to people speaking to them assuming they could hear, but it never stopped being annoying. Adora went through the motions of indicating they were Deaf. The girl frowned slightly. She signed slowly, looking rather unsure of the accuracy of her question:

“Welcome to B-G. Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for an employee. Is anyone else working today?” Adora responded quickly.

Lonnie made a face. She tapped her fingers to her palm and then dragged them across the top of her hand, asking Adora to repeat slowly. Adora barely refrained from rolling their eyes. They decided to go for something more simple this time.

“Is C-A-T-R-A here?”

That seemed to get across easily enough. Lonnie’s face lit up with sudden understanding as she repeated the letters Adora had signed to herself. She nodded, and made the sign for “be right back”. She turned and walked off towards the back of the store, disappearing through a door that was barely visible behind a rack of leather coats. Adora tapped her foot nervously, arms folded across her chest. Why did she feel so weird about this? Adora glanced through the window, watching the cars roll past. She turned back towards the door and-

The world stopped. There was Catra. The expression she was wearing looked to be somewhere between annoyance and surprise. Her thick mane of hair was sticking wildly out behind her, held out of her face by a red bandana. Her eyes rose to meet Adora’s and woah, Adora had never noticed that they were two different colors before. A cool blue to the right, a warm gold to the left. A spray of dark freckles covered her cheeks and nose. It was all Adora could do to keep their mouth from falling open. Had they been so foolish as to expect that they would be the one catching her off guard? Shakily, she waved to the short girl. Clearly, Adora’s utter inphatuation was written right across their face, because Catra’s mouth split into a cocky grin. Her teeth were visible as she began laughing, and her canines looked almost fang-like. Catra closed her eyes when she laughed, and her nose crinkled up. Her shoulders heaved up and down before she returned to looking at Adora, one eyebrow raised and still smiling. Adora had to bite their tongue to avoid staring at her.

“Happy to see me?”, she signed. Adora felt a blush creeping up to burn in her cheeks.

“I- um.. I mean. You asked me to come here, remember?” If hands could stutter, Adora was pretty sure hers were.

“I mean… I wasn’t really thinking you would accept. A joke mostly. I’m busy in the back right now. Moving classes.” Adora cocked their head.

“Moving.. what?”

Catra grimaced, clearly frustrated at her mistake.

“B-O-X-E-S”. Adora nodded and showed Catra the sign she was looking for. She looked grouchy but repeated it to herself a few times.

“If you’re busy, I can go.” Adora felt their stomach sink at the prospect, but Catra quickly shook her head.

“No, don’t. S-H-A-D-O… Boss is out today.” She points at Lonnie before proceeding “plus this one owes me for bailing to go out with her boyfriends and leaving me to close last week. We can go somewhere.”

Adora’s heart soared back into her chest. Smiling against her will, she nodded to eagerly at Catra.

“Be back out in a moment.”

After Catra returned with her coat and keys, the pair set off. They didn’t say anything else to each other, simply falling into line side-by-side as they exited the store. Their paces matched perfectly without need for adjustment. Adora didn’t believe in fate and she highly doubted Catra would appreciate her saying anything, but when she was around Catra she sometimes felt like they were made to be together. Catra and Adora had become as close as childhood friends in the span of a week. Both of them already had a full grasp on each other’s personalities, senses of humor, and general outlook on the world. The two meandered down the sidewalk for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Adora felt a twinge of guilt at interrupting Catra at work, especially with the kind of boss she knew she had, but that guilt died instantly when she looked over and saw two bright eyes shining up at her. Catra stopped walking, rolling back on her heel and cocking her hip confidently.

“Where do you want to go?” She asked.

Adora put a hand to their chin, thinking. What was nearby? It was about noon, maybe they could grab a bite to eat. She remember Glimmer telling her about a nice seafood place that her friend owned. What was it called again…?

“How about lunch? We could try S-A-L-I-N-E-A-S. My roommate knows the owner’s daughter.”

Catra’s response caught Adora off guard. The girl blushed and looked away, awkwardly coughing into her hand.

“I’m kind of… banned from there.” She had to spell out the word “banned”, and Adora could see irritation flash across her face. Catra seemed to get upset every time she messed up or didn’t know a particular sign. Adora cocked her head.

“How did that even happen?”

“I uh.. maybe got drunk. A little. And then…” Catra’s blush intensified. “Saw my reflection in the door as I was walking by. And she was lookin’ at me like a bitch! So I told her to fuck off. And obviously she told me to fuck off. So I kicked her except she was obviously just glass and so I just… broke it. The door. It broke. Shattered. There’s a picture of me hanging on the wall so that the employees know not to let me back in. The only other picture is of some guy who tried to set fire to the kitchen while singing pirate shanties.”

Catra frequently had to stop and spell words and by the time she was finished she was looking thoroughly annoyed, as well as embarrassed. Adora threw back her head and laughed. She felt a blow land on her arm and looked down to see Catra blushing furiously and looking away. Adora couldn't help but continuing to guffaw. She snorted and wiped a tear from her eye after a moment.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she signed as Catra glared up at her. “But you attacked your reflection? Like a cat in front of a mirror?”

“I told you!! She was looking at me funny!”

Adora relapsed into giggles at this. Catra’s face softened and she began to laugh along with Adora. She wondered for a moment how they looked to passers by, two idiots standing on the sidewalk cackling loudly. After their laughing fit subsided, Adora hummed thoughtfully.

“So, not there then. Know any other good food places?”

“Hmm. There’s a food truck that stops by my place most days. They make some killer pierogis. We could eat there?”

Adora felt the now-familiar squeeze of nervousness at the thought of Catra taking her back to her house, even if they weren’t going in, but she had to admit that sounded like a great idea. She nodded in agreement, and the pair began strolling down the street together, their steps in perfect sync once again.


	4. A Light In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra finally opens up to Scorpia, and begins a new page of her life. Meanwhile, Adora has a rough day, and Catra comes to the rescue. The two share a heavy moment, and Catra learns a lot about herself in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild cw for anxiety and panic attacks, please take care of yourselves and skip this chapter if you need to <3

_Thud!_ Catra felt her fist connect harshly with Scorpia’s abdomen. Her opponent yelped and stumbled back. Catra did not hesitate to lash out again, her right fist flying past Scorpia’s face, her left following it immediately and catching her on the shoulder. Recovering from her stumble, Scorpia pulled back and shoved forward with her side, ramming into Catra and tossing her almost to the floor. Her feet slid as she caught her balance. She growled, teeth bared as she darted forward again. Catra felt her sharp nails rake against Scorpia’s midsection, catching on her shirt and tearing four horizontal lines into the red fabric. She was on the offensive again immediately. Scorpia was big and extremely strong, but Catra was much more nimble and harder to hit. As she dodged past a punch that nearly caught the side of her skull, Catra turned to lash out with her left heel. Scorpia, however, had readied herself, stance solid and defensive. Catra realized this too late as Scorpia grabbed her ankle, digging her feet in to throw Catra off her balance. Her momentum was caught up and Catra was sent sprawling to the floor. 

“Fuck. That’s what, 3 to 2? You’re gettin’ good, Scorp,” Catra said, not getting up from the floor. The two of them were in the small gym on the bottom floor of their apartment building. There was a small area of mats in the corner where the pair of them went to spar whenever one of them needed to let off some steam. She glanced up to see Scorpia panting, but she had a big grin plastered across her face.

“Well, living with you has taught me how to keep my guard up,” she responded breathlessly. Catra chuckled at this. She _did_ make a habit of tossing anything in sight at her roommates’ heads whenever they teased her about something. Catra fondly remembered the first time Scorpia had managed to catch something Catra had lobbed at her face. The two of them had just sat in stunned silence for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Scorpia extended a hand, which Catra took, pulling herself to her feet. 

“You know, you still haven’t told me what’s been bothering you lately. You never offer to come down and work out with me unless there’s something on your mind.” 

Catra paused, grimacing. She was still new to this whole… 'opening up about your feelings' thing. She was so used to bottling everything up, it felt weird to voice her emotions. This was a particularly sore spot too, as it played on Catra’s loathing of asking for help. She paused for a moment, not really sure of what to say.

“I dunno. I just… it’s Adora.”

“Adora? Oh shit, did you two break up?!”

Catra, who had just taken a particularly long swig from the water bottle that was sitting on the bench near them, choked and nearly spat water onto the floor. Spluttering and coughing, she practically yelled, “broke up!? Scorpia, we are _not_ dating!” Her friend looked genuinely surprised by that. 

“Sorry Wildcat, I mean I just assumed, since you text her all the time and you’re always smiling at your phone and you two had that date the other day-“

Catra’s choking spell nearly made a comeback at that last line.

“What do you mean we had a date???”

“Catra. She stopped by your job, picked you up, and then you two went to go eat lunch together. You sat out on the steps and talked for like 3 hours. I genuinely thought you were having a date.”

Catra blushed.

“Well fuck, when you put it that way… but no. We aren’t. And it wasn’t. Like I told you before, I’m _not_ into them, and besides, I doubt they even like girls. Agh, why am I even telling you this?”

“Because I’m your friend who cares about you?”

“Yeah that’s definitely not it.” There was a pause. The two of them stood there for a moment, Catra lost in thought. When she finally spoke up, her voice was quiet. 

“Do you think… I mean, when we ran into Adora at the park. You two were able to communicate really easily. I always fuck up my signs. I never paid attention in school so I barely remember any. I’m just…” She scowled. Why was it so hard to say this out loud? “What I’m asking is can you teach me? You know, how to sign properly?”

Scorpia looked taken aback. Catra regretted asking almost instantaneously. She looked away, gritting her teeth. 

“You know what, forget it. It’s dumb.” She turned to start making her way to the door, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“No, wait! It isn’t dumb.” Catra stopped walking but didn’t turn to face Scorpia. “I’d be happy to teach you. I mean, I don’t really know how to teach, like I did tutor my friend in English but that was a long time ago-“

“Scorpia, you’re rambling again.”

“Oh right! Sorry. But yes. I’ll teach you, Wildcat.” Catra finally turned back and saw Scorpia smiling kindly at her. She opened her mouth to respond, but couldn’t find the words to say. Instead, she just nodded, before turning and making her way out of the gym.

———————————————

It was late afternoon, so after Catra hopped out of the shower she decided to take a nap. Scorpia and Entrapta had gone out to a local robot fighting championship and likely wouldn’t be back until after dark. Catra had to admit that sounded like fun, but her muscles were aching from her and Scorpia’s workout session earlier, and she decided to stay back and nurse the bruises that were appearing along her body. She stretched and scratched her back, bare feet padding along the tile of the kitchen as she made her way to her bedroom. The apartment was abnormally quiet, which Catra appreciated. She had a lot on her mind.

A majority of her shower had been spent sitting at the base of the tub going over what Scorpia had said over and over in her head. That train of thought was seemingly there to stay as she made her way into her room. She flopped down on the bed, staring thoughtfully out the window. Did Scorpia really think she and Adora were… a couple? Something about that had made Catra squirm. Sure, she and Adora were close, maybe too close for people who had met a week ago. But dating? The thought hadn’t even crossed Catra’s mind until it was placed in front of her, but now that it had been it wouldn’t leave her head. She ran a hand thoughtfully through her thick hair, which was still wet and stuck to her fingers as they passed through it. The more Catra thought about her relationship with Adora, the more her stomach churned. Catra had never been in a romantic relationship before. She’d had a few casual hookups with random girls she met at bars, but those never extended into personal connections. Catra had no idea what it even felt like to want to be with someone. She pondered over the day she’d spent with Adora. The two of them had walked down to the parking lot by the train tracks and ordered their food, mostly without exchanging many words. A lot of their time was spent just sitting next to each other. Catra had pulled her phone out partway through to text Adora instead of struggling through her signs. Catra hated how stupid she felt when she couldn’t remember a particular word, or got one mixed up with another. She hated the heat that rose to her cheeks and the anger that bubbled in her chest when she had to spell out entire sentences. Seeing how effortlessly Scorpia had signed with her… Catra couldn’t stand asking for help. But even then, this was different. It wasn’t for her, not really. It was for Adora. Catra didn’t know what Adora’s voice sounded like, but she could still hear the echo of their laugh in her ears. The way they almost cried laughing at the story of how she got banned from Salineas, the snorts that broke up their giggles that made the pair of them laugh even harder. Catra didn’t even realize she was smiling as she recalled the beautiful sound. She didn’t know what her relationship with Adora was defined as, and just then she wasn’t worried about it. All she wanted was for that relationship to bloom. And if that meant asking Scorpia for lessons, so be it. Catra laid back, hands behind her head and legs crossed. She closed her eyes, letting Adora’s laugh ring in her ears as she dozed off into a contented slumber. 

Scorpia’s ESL lessons began later that night when she returned with Entrapta. Catra had been awoken by Entrapta’s excited chatter as the two of them entered the apartment. She sat up, noting that it was now dark out. She glanced at the time: 9:23. She had slept for nearly 4 hours. She must have been more exhausted than she thought. She wandered into the kitchen, to find Entrapta holding a trophy and animatedly running through a play-by-play to Scorpia. She waved to Catra before skipping off to her room, laughing excitedly. Catra chuckled at the fact that Entrapta laughed like an evil genius. Scorpia made her way over to where Catra was standing and set her bag down on the table. Hanging her coat on the back of her chair, she took a seat, inviting Catra over with a gesture. 

“So. I did some thinking while we were out. I came up with a list of basic signs that you should study first, and we can also refresh your memory on grammar. Sign language isn’t one-for-one with Etherian, it’s its own language. Here, look at these.” Scorpia reached into her bag and pulled out a bundle of flash cards tied neatly with a rubber band. She slid them across the table to Catra, who picked them up and began shuffling through them. There were hand drawn diagrams accompanying each word. Scorpia had really taken the time to make these herself? Catra looked up from the cards.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask. Where did you learn to sign so well?”

Scorpia glanced up from where she was pulling out a sheet of paper and a pencil.

“Oh! One of my moms is hard of hearing. She taught me how to sign when I was a baby, before I even knew how to speak. I’ve gotta stay in practice for when I go and visit her!”

Catra nodded. She wondered briefly why that had never come up. _Probably because I never asked about her family before_ , Catra thought guiltily. 

“Ok! So, I’m just gonna write the important bits out as we go. We can practice every night at dinner. Does that sound good?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Catra hesitated before adding, “and Scorpia? Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

Scorpia’s eyes practically shone as she stood up and hugged Catra. She yowled and struggled in protest but Scorpia was too strong and held fast.

“Happy to help, Wildcat.”

—————————————————

In the following weeks, Catra and Scorpia made a habit of practicing their signs together after dinner each night. These silent exchanges often spilled over into other parts of their day as well. Scorpia remarked on several occasions how quick a learner Catra was, for which Catra was very smug. As fall turned to early winter, Catra had become rather proficient. She was much more comfortable signing now, her movements were more smooth and she found herself hesitating less and less between words. She even looked forward to their nightly study sessions. Scorpia was a good teacher too. The way she explained things clicked easily in Catra’s brain and stuck there without a problem. For once, Catra was glad she had reached out for help.

Between her lessons with Scorpia and texting with Adora, Catra found her overall mood slowly lifting. She smiled more, laughed more often, and didn’t feel as much of a need to push her friends away. She still didn’t like opening up about her feelings, and often got defensive when people pried, but she was still feeling loads better. It even took the edge off work. Even though Shadow Weaver had made it her personal mission to make Catra’s life hell, Catra realized that she had become defiantly happy. Yeah. She was _happy._ Catra was enjoying her life. She had come closer to Scorpia in a few weeks than in her entire time living with her, not to mention how she stayed up every night texting Adora for hours. Everything felt right.   
  


It was late December by now. Snowfall was becoming more and more frequent and all the last lingering leaves had fallen from their branches. Catra was walking down the sidewalk on her usual path home from work, bundled up and shivering from the cold. She decided she was going to stop by Bright Moon that day to see if Adora was there. Catra was eager to try out her new signs. She was tired from work, and as usual she was still feeling the lingering discomfort of having to use her voice for a prolonged period of time. She ducked into the store, careful not to bump into anyone this time. She looked around but was disappointed to find no Adora in sight. She pulled out her phone.

Catra - 6:54 pm

hey adora

i’m at your roomies’ annoyingly 

pink café

you said you like to hang here,

if you wanna meet up i’m gonna

hide from the cold for a bit.

She clicked the screen shut and walked over to the counter. She saw Glimmer behind the register, hand on her palm, looking bored. 

“Heya Sparkles”, Catra said. Glimmer jumped, and looked around. Clearly she hadn’t been paying attention.

“My name’s _Glimmer!_ I know you know that. Or did you never learn how to read?” She shot back. Catra was quiet for a moment before she began laughing. Glimmer did not join her.

“Geez, what’s got you so serious?”, she asked.

“Nothing. It’s none of your business. Are you gonna order anything or what?”. Catra made a display of thinking very hard about it, tapping her chin with her thumb and placing a hand on her hip. Glimmer rolled her eyes. 

“You know what? I’m feelin’ nostalgic. Gimme whatever’s most expensive.” She winked. Glimmer sighed exasperatedly but began working on her order. Catra paid and wandered over to an empty booth. She plopped down and pulled out her phone again. 

you said you like to hang here,

if you wanna meet up i’m gonna

hide from the cold for a bit.

[read 6:58 pm]

That was weird. Adora never left Catra hanging like that. Something turned in her gut. She quickly began typing again.

Catra

adora, is something wrong?

Three dots appeared for a moment, then vanished. They didn’t come back. Something was definitely wrong. Sitting up straight, Catra felt her anxiety turn to fear.

Catra

adora seriously, you’re scaring me. what’s going on?

[read 7:01 pm]

Catra stood up from the booth. Her mind was racing. What could possibly be happening? She power walked over to the counter. 

“Hey, Sparkles!” She called into the back. Glimmer walked out, scowling.

“What do you want now?”

“It’s Adora.” Glimmer’s expression immediately changed. 

“What do you mean? Is she okay?” She looked panicked.

“I don’t know. She’s not responding to my texts. Something weird is going on.”

Glimmer blinked. 

“You seriously came and yelled at me because they left you on read?” 

“No! This isn’t like them. They _always_ respond to me. I saw them typing but they just deleted it. I'm telling you, something's up!"

Glimmer’s eyes narrowed. 

“What do you mean, always? Do you two talk often?”

“Uh, only every day? Why does that matter?”

Something like realization dawned in the girls eyes. “So _that’s_ what she’s been all happy about,” she muttered. Catra felt a lump form in her throat. Adora was happy because of her? What did that mean?

“Listen. You’re still at work, but I’m free. Tell me where you live, I know you’re roommates."

“I am hardly about to give you the keys to my fucking house. I don’t even know you!”

Catra groaned in frustration. Why was this girl being so difficult?

“It doesn’t matter! What if something happened to her? Don’t you want to at least know she’s okay?!”

Glimmer spluttered for a moment, clearly insulted. 

“Of _course_ I fucking care that they’re okay! Here, just take this!”

She scribbled an address down on a piece of paper and threw it at Catra. 

“If my mom- I mean, my boss wasn’t forcing me to work cleanup shift I’d go myself. Just-... make sure Adora’s okay.” 

Catra nodded and left the store, drink long forgotten on the table. 

—————————————————-

It wasn’t a long walk to Adora’s apartment. Well, maybe it was because Catra’s mind was racing with panic, or perhaps because as soon as she was out of the coffee shop she had broken into a dead sprint. Either way, she arrived in less than ten minutes. She tapped her foot nervously as she waited for the elevator to make its way up to the 7th floor. As soon as the door was open Catra was running again, shoving past the people who were waiting on the other side, ignoring their cries of anger. She glanced down at the paper clutched in her palm. _Okay. I’m looking for apartment 13A._ She scanned her surroundings until she saw it, a white door at the end of the hall. She jogged over. Reaching out, she tried the knob. It was unlocked, thankfully. Adora wouldn’t be able to hear her knock, so Catra sent her text message and anxiously awaited any confirmation while she waited outside the door. She was so close, and her heart was pounding in her ears.

Catra

adora, i’m at your apartment. glimmer gave me the address. i’m going to come in, okay? 

She waited for what felt like an eternity, hands shaking as she stared at her screen. _Finally_ , the read message popped up. No response followed it, But Catra took that as an invitation to enter. She swung the door open and took a step in. 

The apartment was dark. All the lights were turned off, all the curtains drawn. From the light spilling in through the door, Catra could see a very tidy living space. She noted a closed door across the living room and figured that was her best bet at finding Adora. She gently closed the front door behind her. Even though she knew Adora couldn’t hear it, she winced at the sound, not wanting to startle her friend. She made her way across the room to the door. Taking a breath, she slowly opened it. It was dark in here as well. From what she could see, this was Adora’s room. It was meticulously clean, with a neat bed by the window, a desk by the wall, and papers splayed out across a small section of the floor. As the door creaked open, Catra saw a shape, curled up against the wall, head in her knees. Catra’s heart screamed at the sight. She could hear ragged, uneven breathing and could see Adora’s shoulders rising and falling quickly. Catra made her way across the room and crouched next to her, unsure of how to make her presence known. Gently, she reached out a hand. Adora flinched as she made contact with their shoulder, but they didn’t look up. Catra sat down next to the girl, palm resting softly against their skin. She could recognize a panic attack when she saw one. Knowing Adora, she had probably stressed herself out so hard that her body had gone into defense mode from lack of rest. Slowly, Adora raised their head. In the dim light Catra could see their face was streaked with tears and red from crying. Before she could stop herself, she put her other hand out, gently cradling Adora’s cheek in her palm. They squeezed their eyes shut and leaned into her touch. Catra felt surprisingly calm. She sat there for a long time, simply letting her calming presence seep into Adora to ground them. Slowly, their breaths became less desperate, more even. She didn’t know how long they sat there like that, Catra gently brushing away their tears with her thumb as they fell. Slowly, Adora shifted forward. Catra wasn’t sure what was happening until she felt strong arms wrapping around her and a face nuzzle into her neck. Catra adjusted slightly so Adora could curl against her torso. She ran one hand up and down Adora’s back, slowly caressing them in calming circles. Her other hand made its way to the back of their head, lacing her fingers gently into their hair. Adora let out a shuddering sigh. Their face remained buried in Catra’s shoulder. Even after their breathing was back to normal, they didn’t move for a long time. Catra was perfectly content to stay there for the rest of eternity. 

The pair was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the apartment. Catra pulled back, and Adora sat up too, seemingly surprised by her sudden movement. Catra heard Bow’s voice calling out into the apartment. She figured Glimmer had caught him up after she left.

“We’re in here”, Catra called. Her own voice sounded deafening after so long sitting in silence. She saw Adora squint as a light was turned on in the other room. After a moment, Bow and Glimmer entered the room. Adora smiled shakily at them, untangled her limbs from Catra’s. Her roommates sat down next to her, concerned looks on their faces. 

“What happened?” Signed Bow. “Catra said something was wrong."

Adora glanced at Catra, who nodded encouragingly. 

“I don’t know. I was working on my maps and I just… it was like I couldn’t breathe. I just lost it. I couldn’t stop shaking.” Catra ran a hand along Adora’s back as she signed, trying to help her remain calm. After a pause, she momentarily took her hand away to explain.

“They were having a panic attack. Probably from stress. Stars know they probably haven’t slept properly in weeks.”

“How did you know something was up?” Bow asked, still signing so Adora could understand. 

“Yeah, how did you know? You figured it out like… right away,” signed Adora, head tilted.

“I… I don’t really know. Something just felt off. You’ve never left my texts on read before. I guess something in me just knew you needed help but couldn’t ask. I think it’s because… because I do the same thing.” 

The four of them sat there for a while, not saying anything. Eventually, Bow signed something about making tea and wandered out of the room. He gave Glimmer a look, and she nodded and followed, leaving Catra and Adora alone again. She turned to see the blonde staring at her thoughtfully. 

“Your signs,” she said after a minute. 

“What about them?”

“They’re really good. Have you been practicing?”

Catra blushed as she felt a rush of pride. _Adora noticed the work I’ve been putting in_. She nodded happily. 

“Scorpia, my roommate, is teaching me. I wanted to be able to talk with you without needing my phone.”

A smile spread across Adora’s face. 

“That’s really nice of her. And really nice of you.” She paused for a minute. “Hey Catra?”

Catra swallowed, suddenly nervous for some reason.

“Yeah?”

“I really appreciate you coming. I-... I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come. I felt like I was drowning. All I could do was curl up into a ball and cry and just _wait for it to stop,”_ tears were beginning to brim in her eyes again. 

“Hey, hey,” Catra signed gently. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you. You’re gonna be alright.” 

Adora nodded shakily. 

“Would you… is it okay if you stay the night? In case it happens again?”

Catra felt something in her stomach do a backflip, but she nodded.

“Yeah. Anything you need, princess”. She smiled meekly. 

Adora took a while to gather their strength before the two stood and walked over to their neatly made bed. Neither of them bothered changing out of their clothes, and just laid down. Catra sprawled out on her side and Adora curled around her back. Catra’s heart was pounding at the proximity. Slowly, Adora put her arm around Catra’s stomach. She pressed her nose into Catra’s neck. She could feel her steady breaths as Adora drifted off to sleep. A thought made its way into Catra’s mind as she too began slowly drifting off: 

_I think I know what it feels like to want to date somebody._

And with that, she too closed her eyes, a slight smile tugging at her lips. 


	5. Slipping Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra beings to spiral after a major part of her life is shaken up. She resorts back to old survival mechanisms to navigate the tidal wave of emotions crashing down on her, and feels like she's losing everything and everyone to her own self-destructive behavior. Adora does something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small cw for alcohol consumption. Self-harm is referenced but does not occur in the story.

‘ _Comfy…_ ’ This was the first thought to cross Adora’s mind as she woke up. She felt something warm and soft pressed against her stomach. As she breathed in, the smell that entered her nose could only be described as “home”. She felt something stir near her. As her eyes opened, she saw a figure through the bluriness of sleep, slowly adjusting her position. Recollection of the previous night’s events flashed through Adora’s mind as she recognized the shape of Catra in her arms.

They almost flinched as the memory of yesterday’s panic attack re-entered their consciousness, but they stilled themself so as to not wake the sleeping girl curled against them. Slowly, they relaxed their muscles, which had stiffened on reflex. Pressing their nose deep into the sea of thick curls in front of them, Adora sighed. 

She had always had immense difficulty finding comfort; in her clothes, her body, her life in general. But this? This closeness was new to her. Adora had never slowed down long enough to catch her breath, let alone long enough to share intimacy with others. Adora felt perfectly comfortable and safe for the first time in as long as she could remember.

Adora figured they were allowed to take that morning off for themself. There was no need to get up and make breakfast, to exercise or work on their maps. Being with Catra last night allowed them to slow down when they had just assumed being a freight train of a human was a _good_ thing, always chugging along, no thought for their own well-being. So Adora ignored the call of the sun for once. They cuddled into their friend and felt warmth inside and out. Warmth on their stomach, from Catra’s back slowly rising and falling against it. Warmth in their face as their breath bounced off Catra’s neck. Warmth in their chest as they thought about Catra, clutched so close to them. Catra… Adora had never imagined that the key to finding comfort would be in meeting this girl. They wanted to hold on to her and never let go. So they closed their eyes, and allowed the warmth to radiate through every inch of their body as they dozed back off to sleep. 

  
  
  


It was early afternoon by the time Catra awoke. The sun was no longer visible through the window, already making its way high across the sky. She rolled over, stretching out on her back to look at the ceiling. Hold on- that’s not her ceiling.

Catra bolted upright, glancing around. She was met with the sight of a pristinely clean room, carpeted floors and warm red walls. A ceiling fan spun lazily above her, blowing a cool breeze into her face. Recognition finally dawned on her; this was Adora’s room. She had stayed the night. Speaking of Adora, Catra glanced to the right, only to find an empty bed next to her. Maybe they’d already left for their run or something? Catra slid down to the floor, feet sinking into the soft rug. She stood up and made her way over to the door, which was closed.

Reaching out a hand, she grabbed the handle and pulled it open. Catra’s heart jumped as she saw Adora, sitting with her back to her at the kitchen table. She took a minute to take in the sight of her apartment’s main room. It was just as tidy as her bedroom, walls a light blue, curtains open to let the natural light spill in. Adora appeared to be reading a newspaper, and was making quick work of a sandwich. Catra didn’t see Bow or Glimmer anywhere, and assumed they had already left. 

A smirk found its way to her face as she recognized the moment’s potential for throwing Adora off. Straightening her shirt, she strode confidently over to Adora, a hand reaching out to slide across their shoulder. They jumped, startled at the sudden contact, but when they looked up they smiled.

“Mornin’, princess.” 

Adora gestured to the chair next to her, offering for Catra to sit. She accepted, crossing her legs as she turned to face her. Her hand had trailed down her shoulder but found a place on her wrist. Adora seemed to appreciate the contact.

“How did you sleep?” Catra asked. She assumed Adora had at least made it the night without succumbing to anxiety again, as Catra hadn’t been shaken awake or anything. Still, it would be rude not to ask.

“Really well, actually. I think I was just so drained after.. all _that_ that I just went comatose.”

“Hey, it certainly could have been worse. And you deserved the rest.”

Adora nodded thoughtfully, seemingly unsure of how to respond. The two sat there for a few moments, Catra gently drumming her fingers on Adora’s arm.

“Where are your loud friends? I wouldn’t expect them to leave you here, especially not with me. I don’t think they like me very much.”

“What, no! They definitely like you! They just.. aren’t great at showing it. And yeah, they weren’t too stoked at the idea. They waited for me to get up at least, but Glimmer’s mom still wanted them to come in for work.”

_Work_. Oh **fuck**. It was already after 12:00 and Catra was supposed to be at Black Garnet 6 hours ago. Tendrils of fear wrapped around Catra’s heart, which began pounding as if it was trying to escape them. She bolted up from the table. Adora looked startled.

“Woah, is everything okay?”

Catra ran into Adora’s room to grab her boots. As she pulled them on Adora appeared in the doorway. 

“Catra! What’s going on?”

Catra almost fell on her ass as she pulled her other shoe on, before standing up.

“I have work today. I’m so late. Shadow Weaver is going to kill me.”

She pushed past Adora, and as she made her way to the door a hand grabbed her wrist. She looked back to see Adora making a weird face at her.

“What is it?” Catra signed quickly.

“I just.. nevermind. Thank you again.”

Catra nodded, turned, and ran out the door.

  
  


She arrived at nearly 1:00 o’clock, gasping for breath and sweaty, despite the cold bite of the air. She stopped just outside to catch her breath. Nervous nausea was twisting in her stomach. Maybe she could sneak in without Shadow Weaver noticing? It wasn’t exactly a flawless plan but it was better than nothing. Steadying herself, she pulled the door open and stepped inside.

Speed walking towards the back, she nodded to Rogelio, who was working the counter. He gave her a look but didn’t say anything. Catra was just reaching for the door to the back when-

“Catra!”

She froze, icy terror filling her. Slowly, she turned. Shadow Weaver stood behind her. She was tall and wiry and seemed to block out all the lights. Catra gulped. 

“ _What_ ,” Weaver spat the word out like it disgusted her, “are you doing here halfway into your shift? Trying to slip in like I wouldn’t notice? _Do you take me for a fool, Catra?_ ” The last sentence was menacing and quiet, and very much a threat.

Catra began hyperventilating. She tried to move, tried to speak to defend herself, but she couldn’t. It felt like Shadow Weaver was grasping her with some kind of twisted magic, holding her in place so she couldn’t run.

“You have the audacity to skip out on work when you were clearly scheduled to work closing shift,” _damn, she knew about that?_ “And now you waltz in here _six. Hours. Late._ Do you have _anything_ to say for yourself, you insolent rat?”

Catra’s ears were burning, whether from humiliation or anger or fear she didn’t know. She tried to speak, tried so hard to break out of her paralysis. But she couldn’t. All she could do was stare up at her boss, unable to break eye contact. 

Shadow Weaver stepped back, tutting and shaking her head.

“And after everything I’ve done for you… I’ve had enough of your games. Don’t bother showing your face around here again. Rogelio will pick up the slack of the shift you left him. So inconsiderate…”

And with that, she walked away. Catra just stood and stared at the wall. _She was fired_? Catra passed through several stages of emotions before she landed on a hollow, pulsing void. Gritting her teeth, she made her way over to the door.

  
  


The walk home was cold. Catra didn’t care. Her feet hurt from sprinting in heavy boots. Catra didn’t care. After everything she did, all the work she had put in, everything had slipped through her fingers once more. This always happened. This is what happened when she allowed herself to feel things. To care about others. She did dumb shit and it cost her dearly. She entered the apartment, still almost numb.

She made her way into the bathroom and locked it. Leaning against the counter, she took a deep breath.

_This was Adora’s fault._

The thought entered her head against her will. It was immediately met with conflicting emotions. Guilt, for insinuating that this was somehow their fault. Anger, that they had inadvertently caused this. Shame, for being as stupid as to think she was going to get to keep her happiness. 

The light was off, so she could only dimly make out her silhouette in the mirror. Feeling so conflicted was somehow worse than feeling angry, or guilty. Emotions swirled inside her, twisting around and through one another, battling for dominance. Catra couldn’t do anything to stop it, she was a ship stuck at sea during a hurricane. Everything was falling apart. All of her fears were crashing down onto her like a wave.

_You weren’t good enough._

_You don’t deserve happiness._

_You hurt yourself by loving others._

_Affection is only ever accompanied by pain._

_You did this._

_Adora did this._

_You trusted them to make your life better._

_But they’re the reason you have nothing once again._

Catra let out a scream of frustration, knuckles white as she clenched her fists and grit her teeth, grinding them together. 

_Crack!_

Her fist struck glass, slamming into the mirror as cracks and lines surged across the reflective surface, radiating out from a single, crushed circle. She felt pain stinging her fingers where needles of glass had sunken into her flesh. 

Panting, she took a step back. It was still dark, and it almost looked as if half of her was coated in shadow, cracked and splintered just like the mirror. Warm blood began to flow slowly between her fingers.

Catra’s back hit the wall and she slid downward, knees coming up to meet her chest, face burying into them. 

Here she was. Alone, in a dark room. Curled against the wall, huddled in a tiny ball, overwhelmed by turbulent emotions. Just as Adora had been. But this time, there was no hand reaching through the darkness to find her skin. No palm cupping her face gently, no arms holding her while she tried to regain control of her breath.

Catra was alone. Where she always ended up. Where she belonged. She felt her throat clench as if ready to cry, but no tears made their way down her face. She tried to focus on the steady pain in her fist, letting the throbbing pulse ground her.

She laughed humorlessly, voice muffled by her knees. Usually, when she was overwhelmed with dysphoria or self hate, she had to actively seek out the biting pain of steel against her skin to try and ground herself through it all, but this time the pain had come to her. 

She laughed because she didn’t know what else she _could_ do. She couldn’t cry, couldn’t find the voice to scream. So she just let a hollow chuckle fill the room. It sounded dead and empty. She just sat there, not moving. There was nothing left for her.

She felt a buzz against her thigh. Anger returned and dominated her other feelings as she thought about Adora. Adora, who wasn’t here when she needed her. Adora, who was the reason she had been fired. Adora… whose arms had held Catra so delicately, like she was the most precious thing in the world. _No, stop that_ , she reprimanded herself.

She pulled out her phone. The light of the screen was almost blinding.

Adora

Hey Catra! Just making sure you got to work okay! <3

Catra choked, coughing on nothing. How could she be so angry at them but still have her heart flutter at their affectionate words? Catra couldn’t do this. This all out war in her heart. All she had left were her old defense mechanisms. _Lash out. Stay alone, stay safe. Don’t let love get you hurt_. Shakily, she typed out a response.

Catra

got fired.

because of you

don’t bother responding. i don’t wanna

hear it. 

Every single cell of her body seemed to be _screaming_ at her, telling her to apologize, backtrack, to somehow _fix_ this. But she couldn’t. She had put herself out in the world, and just like every other time she had allowed herself to be vulnerable, she got hurt. Cutting out Adora was a pain worse than any other she had felt, but it was for the best. It was for her own safety. Nausea rolled through her abdomen, Catra felt like she was going to throw up. Adora had reached out to her with gentle kindness, and this was how she responded. All Catra did was hurt people. Hurt herself. She would be doing them both a favor by burning this bridge. _Survival first,_ she assured herself.

Survival first. Survive by showing no emotion. Survive by keeping your heart in your chest where it belongs. Survive by being alone.

—————————————-

Adora had her head in her hands. She was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Glimmer pace angrily back and forth as she signed.

“Seriously, what is her fucking problem? Is she seriously blaming you for having a panic attack?”

Adora didn’t respond. She didn’t have an answer, and Glimmer seemed to be signing more to let off steam than to initiate conversation anyway. 

“That’s the most guilt-trippy shit I’ve heard in a long time. “Because of you.” Are you kidding me?”

Glimmer kicked the leg of a chair before sitting down with a huff. Adora had shakily explained what had happened when Glimmer returned from work that day. Bow had gone grocery shopping after their shift ended, so he had not yet returned. Adora didn’t really know what she was feeling. Sick? Definitely sick. Guilty, too. She had woken up in time to have gotten Catra up and going before work, but she had been selfish enough to stay put. And now Catra hated her. She rubbed her eyes and sat back, trying to ignore the churning nausea in her gut. 

“I don’t understand her deal,” Glimmer continued. “Yesterday she seemed to care so much. She actually threatened me to find out how to get here. And she stayed so long… I was starting to think I’d misjudged her. But clearly, that was just one good thing from a bad person.”

Something about that statement made a new feeling rise up in Adora: resolve. They _knew_ Catra was more than just one good deed. They had spent more than a month talking with her every day, laughing and sharing kind moments with her. They knew Catra better than Glimmer did, and they weren’t ready to give up on her so easily.

“You’re wrong,” she signed.

“What? About what?”

“About Catra. I _know_ she’s a good person. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have come yesterday. Wouldn’t have stayed. She just… she’s been hurt in the past. A lot. I think she just needs someone to show her they care, to lift her up when she falls on tough times.”

“I still don’t know. That text was really bad. Can’t she see she was gaslighting you? After all the stress she knows you’ve been under, she twists this to be your fault? She _knows_ you would blame yourself. That’s seriously fucked up.”

Adora’s head returned to their palms. Glimmer had a point. But they couldn’t just give up. Not after Catra had dropped everything to anchor them when they were totally lost and alone.

“I’m not saying I have to forgive her for that right away. It _was_ wrong, sure. But I know Catra is more than that. She just needs someone to reach out. I’m not going to leave her over one mistake.” 

Glimmer scowled. Clearly she was opposed to the idea. Adora seriously had no idea why Glimmer hated the girl so much, the two of them had barely ever interacted. 

“What would you even say to her?”

Ah, fuck. Adora did not have an answer for that. Everything she came up with off the top of her head sounded disingenuous and overused. 

“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. ButI have to try.”

“Adora, wait!” 

This last sign was in response to Adora shakily rising to her feet. A determined expression had found its way across her face. 

“What?”

“Will you please think about this? I don’t trust her, Adora. I don’t want you getting hurt any more than you already have.”

“Glimmer, I may seem oblivious sometimes, but it may surprise you to learn that I actually have my own insight about my problems.”

Glimmer looked hurt by that.

“I know, of course you do! All I’m trying to say is… just be careful, Adora. You don’t have to put yourself out there to help everyone else. Stay safe, okay?”

Adora’s expression softened. She put a hand on her friend’s shoulder, smiling weakly.

“I will.”

And with that, she bustled out the door. 

———————————————-

Catra’s head hurt. Red lights were illuminating a large room with black walls. Loud dance music was playing over the speakers, and a mass of swaying and jerking bodies surrounded Catra as she made her way towards the bar.

After sitting in the bathroom for who knows how long (long enough for the sun to have set), Catra decided alcohol was the solution to quenching her emotions. She had shakily walked to the Crimson Waste, the Fright Zone’s most popular club. A tall woman with rippling muscles stood behind the bar, white hair tied back out of her face. Her name was Huntara, the owner and barkeep. 

Catra sat down after ordering her drink, trying to let the pulse of the music drown out her thoughts. She was not particularly successful. She sat for a while, slowly becoming more and more buzzed. Her head spun, and everything felt fuzzy. Still, pangs of guilt continued to strike her, every time she thought she was free she would see Adora’s smile, hear their laughter through the music. 

She ran her hands through her hair, tapping a foot against the barstool. This clearly was not helping. Tossing a couple of crumpled bills down, she stumbled to the door, slightly dizzy. 

The cold air on her face was refreshing, at least. It seemed to bring her senses slightly back as she walked. Catra wasn't particularly keen on getting back in a timely manner. It’s not like she had work in the morning. Not like Adora would be texting her as the sun came up.

No Adora. No more Adora. She’s gone for sure. I shoved her away. I blamed her for my problems. How could I say that to her? What is _wrong_ with me?

As the word _wrong_ rang out in her head, Catra kicked a stone. It clattered off into the darkness, echoing along the sidewalk. Catra stopped and leaned against a wall. The procession of self-loathing thoughts slowly made its way in circles, round and around in Catra’s mind. She didn’t know why she expected drinking to help. In fact, she _knew_ it would make it worse.

But maybe that’s what she deserved. Catra was nothing. She never gave, only took. She was the one pushing everyone away. Blaming them for her problems. Maybe she deserved the writhing guilt and self-disgust looming over her. She knew now what she had done to Adora had been a kindness. There was nothing there for them to care about. Nothing that would make them happy. Just more tears. 

The dark figure of her apartment complex loomed ahead of her. Catra had been meandering for the better part of an hour, and though her mouth tasted bad, she was more-or-less back to her senses. The metal of the key felt cool in her palm as she inserted it with some difficulty into the lock.

The door swung open on an empty apartment. Good. Scorpia was out. That was one less person around for Catra to drive away. She closed the door, flopping down onto the couch. This was as close to home as she was going to get now. A sofa in a dark living room. All alone. 

  
  
  


Wind blew in Adora’s face as she walked, hands shoved in her coat pockets and face tucked halfway into a scarf. She was power walking, as the distance between her and Catra’s apartments was sizable. It was dark, so Adora passed effectively no one on her way.

The entire time they ran through ideas in their head. “I’m sorry” didn’t sound right. Any idea that made its way into their mind felt _off_. Maybe they needed to show Catra instead of telling her. When Adora needed her most, Catra didn’t speak to her, she just held her close and told Adora she cared through her body language. But how could Adora replicate that? A weird feeling churned in their gut as they came up to Catra’s building. After ascending a flight of stairs, they made their way to the door they knew led into Catra’s home. Not knowing what else to do, she reached out a hand.

  
  
  


_Thud! Thud!_

Catra opened her eyes to the sound of banging on her door. She hadn’t fallen asleep, in fact she had just barely sat down. Was this Scorpia? Maybe she had forgotten her keys. Catra didn’t move, but the knocking came again a second later. Growling, she stood up and flung it open.

“What?!” She growled. Instantly her heart dropped. Standing in front of her, bundled up and shivering, was Adora.

Catra could only stare for a minute, not sure of what to say or feel. Finally, she scowled.

“What do you want?”

Adora looked taken aback by the question. They raised their hands a few times, each time dropping them again. Their eyebrows were furrowed. Catra noticed they were giving her the same look they had back in their apartment. She still couldn’t figure out what it was. 

“Well?” She asked, becoming impatient. Seeing her best friend- no, _ex_ best friend standing there felt like it was taking a toll on Catra’s soul, draining her by the second.

“Catra, I just… I wanted to come and check on you. You know, after…” she waved her hands around for a minute before giving up and dropping them. It was obvious what she meant. 

Catra rolled her eyes. Why did they have to prolong this? Couldn’t they tell she wanted to be left alone?

“I don’t want your sympathy. I just want you to leave.”

Adora’s eyes widened slightly, and Catra could see tears beginning to fill them. Words couldn’t describe the force with which her heart shattered at that sight. At Adora, crying over Catra. She needed out. She had to make this stop.

Turning, she began to close the door. She saw desperation flash across Adora’s face from the corner of her eye. A hand caught her arm. Just as she was turning to push it off, Adora stepped towards her. She pulled on Catra’s arm, leaning forward and swiftly closing the gap between their faces. 

Catra’s heart… well, it did something. Catra didn’t know if it counted as a scream, or a skip, or a pulse, but whatever it was it was loud. A roaring filled Catra’s ears and a hot blush leapt to her cheeks. Adora was... kissing her? 

It was like the world had broken. Time was standing still, there was nothing but this. Just this. Her and Adora. The way things should be. Catra couldn’t keep the facade up. She _needed_ Adora in her life. Just as she was leaning up on her tip-toes to pull her closer, Adora pulled back. Catra stared at her, not sure what to say. Adora looked flustered. 

“Catra… I’m so sorry. I should have asked you if that was okay first I just didn’t know what to say and... I shouldn’t have come here. I should go. I’m sorry.” She quickly turned and began walking away.

“Adora, wait!” Catra cried out after them. But of course, Adora couldn’t hear her. Catra stood paralyzed as she watched Adora almost sprinting as their figure disappeared into the night. 

Catra took a step back. She was stunned. So much had happened in so little time, it was like she had whiplash. It was too much to process. Before, in the bathroom, she couldn’t find the will to cry. But now, after finally understanding the full weight of what she had just thrown away? The tears burned hot against her cheeks as she stood and stared at the darkness. She knew she needed to fix this as soon as possible, but how? Everything she did was wrong. _What happens if I push her even further away?_ Catra wondered. 

For a time, all she could do was stand there. Trying to understand what had just happened. Finally, eyes still numbly fixed somewhere distant, Catra closed the door to her apartment. 


	6. Holding Out Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Adora and Catra both spiral into misery without each other, Scorpia, Bow, and Glimmer team up to save their connection. The three of them hatch a plan to get their friends to rekindle their relationship instead of letting the flame go out.

Catra was falling apart. After watching Adora run off into the dark, she had withdrawn into herself. She hadn’t slept at all that night, simply curled up on her bed and stared out the window, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Scorpia had returned home at 3 in the morning to find Catra sitting and watching the trains go past with dead eyes. 

At her prompting, Catra had simply responded, “I’ve ruined everything.” She refused to provide further details. This concerned Scorpia more than if Catra had lashed out. She was used to seeing Catra angry, pacing around the apartment with furrowed brows and bared teeth as she seethed at whatever had upset her. But this was different. Scorpia had known Catra for years, and she’d never seen her go into this state of… emptiness. 

Her expression looked hollow. If she was feeling any emotions at all, they weren’t on display to the outside world. Scorpia had brought her tea when she first found her like that, as well as a snack as the sun had begun making its way into the sky. Both went ignored, sitting on the nightstand next to her. Scorpia was at a loss for what to do. 

She thought back through the details she knew for sure. Catra had not returned from work the night prior, texting Scorpia briefly that she was going to stay the night at Adora’s. Scorpia figured Catra had gone straight to work from there the next morning. That put them at yesterday. Scorpia had gone out on a date with Perfuma, a florist who she often encountered as she jogged around town on her usual route. The pair had stayed out late, and Scorpia had returned in the middle of the night to find Catra huddled in a ball.

So, whatever had happened either involved Black Garnet or Adora. Scorpia decided she would stop by Bright Moon on the way to Black Garnet to see if she could find “Arrow and Shimmer.” Scorpia thought those names were odd, but Catra had mentioned Adora’s roommates worked at a coffee shop in town, and Bright Moon was the only one Scorpia was aware of. Scorpia’s first assumption was that the problem had to do with Shadow Weaver, since she was a usual cause of Catra’s distress, but the café was on her way, so she stopped there first. 

She couldn’t think of what to say to Catra before she left. She didn’t want to reveal she was going to be poking around in her business, that would surely not end well, but she felt bad about leaving her all alone without at least mentioning something. So she simply settled for, “Hey, I’m going out for a bit Wildcat. Text if you need something”. Catra had not moved from her spot on the bed, but Scorpia didn’t want to push it. Bundling up in her favorite coat, matched with red gloves and a scarf, she made her way out to find the cause of her friend’s misery. 

  
  


_____________________

“Adora is falling apart.” Glimmer was sitting in the chair at her desk while Bow sat with his feet hanging off her bed. The pair were whispering. Even though they both knew Adora couldn’t hear them, they still felt as if their conversation might be overheard. 

Usually, the 3 of them would sign out in the main living space. Adora hated when people spoke around her, and she was open about the fact she felt excluded when they did so. The Best Friend Squad didn’t have secrets. But this was different. It was about Adora. 

After she had left to go and reach out to Catra, Glimmer had caught Bow up on the situation. The two of them seemed to agree that what Catra had done was wrong, but Bow had ultimately taken Adora’s side in the matter, arguing that everyone was worthy of a second chance. Glimmer was unsurprised by this, Bow tended to moderate Adora’s and Glimmer’s clashing personalities by finding a stance somewhere in the middle. 

Adora had returned nearly an hour and a half after they had initially left. Their eyes were puffy and red, and it was obvious that they had been crying on the way home. They made a b-line for their room, pushing past Bow and Glimmer as they were standing up from the table. When they stopped them to ask what had happened, Adora had simply signed, "I've ruined everything". They ignored their roommates as they pushed for more details, slamming their door closed behind them and locking the handle. They hadn’t come out for dinner that night, and didn’t respond to either roommate’s texts. 

It was now around the time the trio usually ate breakfast. Ever since their first day living with each other, they had all eaten their meals together, catching up on their personal lives and making casual conversation. Adora had not emerged from her room that day. Glimmer wanted to try and speak with her, but Bow had stopped her, saying that pushing Adora for details would just make things worse.

So the two of them had moved their conversation into their room. They were getting ready for work as they spoke, dressing into their usual uniforms of a pale blue collared shirt and khaki pants. Glimmer constantly referred to their work clothes as “a crime against fashion,” but Angella insisted they be worn. 

The pair spoke in hushed tones as they got dressed. 

“If I ever see Catra again, I’m going to clobber her with one of those metal ice cream scoops we keep in the back.”

“Come on, Glim. We don’t even know the full story of what happened. We need to wait for Adora to talk to us.”

“We know enough! Catra lashed out at her, directly going for her insecurities. Then Adora goes to talk to her, and comes back crying? I think it’s obvious Catra said something awful to her. When I get my hands on her…”

Glimmer left the threat hanging in the air.

“I still think we should wait for Adora to talk to us about it. This is their business, remember? It isn’t our place to go charging in to try to avenge them when they haven’t asked us to. Clearly this is extremely personal to them. Can you think of any other time Adora has hidden something from us like this?”

“Yeah, I can actually! This whole business with Catra has been a secret. You know she’s been texting her like, every day for a month? At least, that’s what Catra told me.”

“So, you think they were dating or something?”

“I have no idea. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but ever since they met her spirits have been really high. The way she’s reacting to this makes me think of some kind of breakup.”

“But why would Adora hide the fact that she had a girlfriend from us?”

“Hell if I know, Bow. I wish they would just talk to us about it. The waiting is killing me”

Bow rested his head against Glimmer’s shoulder.

“They’ll come around, Glim. We just need to give them time.”

“Yeah, I hope so.” She turned and planted a kiss on Bow’s cheek. 

“C’mon. We should get going if we want to be on time.”

_________________________

Scorpia checked her watch as she walked, shivering from the cold. It was about noon, and the sun was blocked by a swirling grey mass of clouds. Scorpia thought about how rainy days were always Catra’s favorite. She hoped maybe the somber weather would cheer her friend up, even a little. 

Scorpia hummed a quiet tune as she walked, scanning store fronts in search of the coffee shop. She had accompanied Catra to work on a few occasions, so she knew the way reasonably well. Finally, a sign overhead caught her eye: Bright Moon Café. Rubbing her gloved hands together to try and warm her stiff fingers, she entered the shop.

It was cozy, Scorpia thought. Catra had described it as “garishly bright, a hideous insult to the eye that should be burned at once,” but Scorpia was unsurprised to find that her friend had been exaggerating. The walls were a warm carnation pink, and the floor was tiled with alternating white and black squares. There was a record player in a far corner, and round wooden tables scattered around the square room. One wall was lined with booths. A glass counter stood set into the opposite wall, with a door leading into the back. All in all, Scorpia found it to be very inviting.

She made her way over to the counter, where she was met with the smiling face of a young man standing behind the register.

“Howdy, welcome to Bright Moon! Can I get you anything?”

  
Scorpia took off a glove to glance down at the names she had written hastily on her palm.

“Yeah, I’m looking for two employees? Uh…. ‘Arrow and Sparkles’?”

The boy gave her a weird look, cocking his head.

“Um. Do you mean Bow and Glimmer?”

“Maybe, I mean I’m not sure, Catra tends to make up nicknames like this to throw people off so I never know when she’s serious about names, but- right, sorry. Rambling. I tend to do that when I get nervous, and, you know what I’m gonna stop talking now.”

She anxiously ran a hand along the back of her neck. This boy, Bow, was giving her an odd look. It almost looked like a grimace.

“You know Catra?”

He didn't sound excited to hear that.

“Oh, yes! Sorry, I should have said. I’m her roommate, Scorpia.”

She stuck out a hand, which he tentatively shook.

“What exactly did you want from us?” he asked.

“Well… something’s going on with Catra. She mentioned that you two were Adora’s roommates, which is why I'm here. Anyway, yesterday something happened. I don’t know if it was her boss or Adora, but she stayed up all night because of it. She looks… terrible. She won’t talk to me or even acknowledge my presence. I want to find out what’s wrong, and I assumed if the problem was with her and Adora, you might know something.”

Bow’s expression had softened. He looked sad, deep in thought.

“Adora’s been the same, actually. They came home crying yesterday after going to talk to Catra. They’ve been locked in their room ever since. Do you know about the text Catra sent them?”

“No? I got home and found Catra like that.”

Bow took a breath, before explaining what had happened, starting with Catra rushing to help Adora, how she had been fired, and then the text. Scorpia took a moment to think silently. 

_ So, I was right. It was Shadow Weaver  _ and  _ Adora.  _ She mentally patted herself on the back for her detective work. Finally, she spoke up.

“Catra… I know it seems like she was being cruel and heartless. But I think she really does care. She cares too much, actually. She hates asking for help, but she came to me to teach her sign language just so she could communicate better with Adora. She’s been so happy the past few weeks… Those two seem to be really good for each other. I’ve never seen her smile so much. She’s not a bad person, but she’s had a hard life. She hasn’t told me much, but from what I know she lashes out when she’s been hurt. She thinks driving people away will protect her from future pain. From the outside, it looks like she  _ wanted _ to hurt Adora. But if you saw how broken she looked last night? I don’t know. I think she really needs Adora, but she’s scared that she’ll be hurt again. I just want what’s best for her. I think we should work together to get them to make up.”

She hadn’t been planning on the last sentence, but as soon as she said it, she realized it was what she needed to do. To her surprise, Bow nodded thoughtfully.

“Adora’s been like that too,” he said tentatively.

“She's been all smiles and productivity since she met Catra. She barely looks up from her phone some days. It’s gonna be tricky convincing Glimmer, she wanted Catra’s blood the second she saw Adora crying, but I agree with you. It seems like they’re both lost right now. If we help them through this, I think it will be better for both of them. Catra brings out a joy in Adora that I’ve never seen before. I want that happiness for her.”

Scorpia nodded and smiled.

“So… How are we gonna go about doing this?”

Bow pulled out a pen and scribbled something down on a blank receipt. 

“Here,” he said, passing it to Scorpia. “We get off at 8. If you can show up there by 8:30, I’ll convince Glimmer to join in on the plan. We’ll figure out how to get these gay idiots to forgive each other.”

Scorpia chuckled and grabbed the paper. There was an address on it written on it in neat lettering. 

“I’ll see you then!” She turned, before stopping and adding, “And thank you so much. Not everyone would be willing to give Catra this chance. It means a lot to me personally that you’re willing to help.”

Bow nodded.

“To be honest, I’m doing this for Adora, not Catra. But we have a common goal here. We want our friends to be happy. And that’s a cause I’m willing to put aside differences for.”

Scorpia grinned, before making her way out of the coffee shop. 

She figured it wasn’t worth making the walk down to Black Garnet, now that she knew what was causing Catra’s breakdown. Instead, she decided she would give Perfuma a visit to pass the time until sundown. She made her way down to Plumeria, the flower shop that she owned. It was situated in a small square, surrounded by a few other stores. There was a cherry tree growing in the center of the square, which the brick sidewalk was paved around, leaving a circle of soil and moss for the tree to grow. Young couples tended to carve their initials into the trunk of the tree, earning it the nickname “The Heart Blossom.” 

Because of the time of year, the tree was barren of leaves, but the remnants of some pink petals were still scattered the base of the trunk and the surrounding sidewalks. Scorpia breathed in deeply, appreciating the fresh air. 

Plumeria was a small store, with a large windowed wall displaying an assortment of bouquets. The name was written in a decorative font into the glass of the door. As it swung open, Scorpia was met with the smell of fresh flowers and water. It was humid in the shop, but not uncomfortably so. It was much warmer than the outside air, for which Scorpia was thankful. She could never figure out why winter was Catra’s favorite season. Scorpia was most certainly a summer person, and welcomed the warm breeze blowing in through a heater in the corner. 

She wandered into the middle of the store, taking in the sights of the many different colors surrounding her. The flowers all looked gorgeous and healthy, clearly Perfuma cared very deeply about her job. There was nobody at the counter, so Scorpia decided to lean against it and wait. She was content to stand there, slowly warming up after her walk through the cold, admiring the plants that covered the counters lining each wall. 

She jumped when she heard a voice as Perfuma walked into the shop from the back.

“Oh, hey Scorpia, it’s lovely to see you!”

She was wearing a shoulderless green dress, a black choker, and a deep blue hat with a wide brim that had a red rose tucked into it. Scorpia blushed slightly.

“Hi Perfuma! Wow, you look um… you look great!” She scratched her head nervously, unable to hide her smile. 

“And to what do I owe the honor of your presence,” Perfuma said in a jokingly proper voice, reaching out to take Scorpia’s hand. It was small and soft in Scorpia’s, whose hands were big and awkward. Scorpia felt a nervousness in her stomach, but a fluttering in her chest. She remembered their date last night, dancing to the music of a jukebox in a diner. They had walked along the streets of Etheria afterward, hand in hand, chatting about everything and nothing.

“Actually, I was wondering if you might be able to help me out with something. You’re good with relationship stuff, right?”

“Hmm… I mean, I’m hardly a therapist, but people tend to come to me for advice about handling their emotions pretty often, so I imagine I could help. What’s the problem?”

“Well, it’s not for me, per se. It’s for a friend of mine. She’d been getting really close to someone, and they were really making her happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen her. But recently she’s been going through a tough time, and when she’s in pain she closes herself off. I think she had a fight with them. I’ve talked to their roommates. We want to get them to make up, but we aren’t sure how yet. Any ideas?”

Perfuma hummed thoughtfully. 

“When you said ‘really close’, were you implying that their relationship was romantic? Or just close friends?”

“To be honest, I couldn’t tell you. Ca-, I mean, my friend isn’t really great with sharing stuff with me. But I’ve never seen her react this harshly to anything before. So I guess I’d say ‘maybe’.”

Perfuma nodded.

“Well, it sounds to me like the problem here is communication. Your friend is struggling with a lot of emotions, and it seems like she’s bottling them up unhealthily. I would say you need to get them together where they can really talk about what’s going on.”

“So like… get them to go on a date?”

Perfuma chuckled before she responded.

“Well, if you think that’s what would help, then sure. As long as they’re connecting, I think it’ll work itself out. We need them to talk, so if getting them to go out will do that, then i don't see why not.”

Scorpia nodded, trying to think of ways she could convince Catra to go somewhere with her. She wondered if being blunt with her was a good idea, or whether she needed to trick Catra into going. She felt guilty about lying to her for any reason, but if it was to help her, was it really that bad? 

“Alright. I really appreciate it. I’m going to meet with their friends later, we’ll discuss ways we can get them to talk. Now! How have you been?”

The conversation shifted away from Catra and Adora. The two chatted for several hours, thankful that it was a slow day for business. Scorpia pulled up a chair behind the counter as they spoke. By the time it was dark out, Scorpia and Perfuma had both their hands interlocked, faces slightly flushed with embarrassment. When Scorpia finally stood to leave, stretching her legs to wake them up, Perfuma pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping her slender arms around Scorpia’s muscular torso. Scorpia, face now a deep shade of red, put her arms around Perfuma’s shoulders. The two held contact for a moment longer, before Scorpia broke away. Still smiling, she said her goodbyes, and set off on her way to meet Bow and Glimmer.

  
  


Scorpia plugged the address into her phone, following the map down an unfamiliar set of sidewalks. When she finally arrived, she found herself standing in front of what looked to be a library. The lights were still on, so Scorpia made her way through the automatic sliding doors. It was a cozy, two story building, with a towering ceiling and wall-length windows that were no doubt meant to let the sun shine in to illuminate readers’ pages. The library was mostly empty, save for a few stragglers sitting in comfy looking chairs or at tables, pouring over books quietly. 

Scorpia wandered around until she came to a small section of the library with separate cubicles; rooms with a table and chairs and soundproof doors. Clearly this area was meant for workers who wanted undisturbed peace and quiet. She saw the boy from earlier through the glass of one of the doors, accompanied by a very short, grumpy looking girl. Bow waved enthusiastically when he caught sight of Scorpia. 

She opened the door and walked in awkwardly. 

“Glimmer, this is Scorpia. Scorpia, Glimmer,” said Bow, gesturing to each of them in turn as he introduced them. Scorpia made her way over to the table and sat down across from the pair. She noted that they were holding hands under the table.

“So,” she said, slightly uncomfortable. “What’s the plan?”

Glimmer remained quiet while Bow spoke.

“Well… we hadn’t really gotten to that part yet. That’s kind of why we’re here. Brainstorming session. My dads own the library so we can stay as long as we need.”

Glimmer sighed, clearly not stoked to be there.

“Well, hopefully we can get this over with quickly. I’m still against the idea of it at all.”

Bow elbowed her, and she kicked his leg under the table. She rolled her eyes, before proceeding in an irritated tone.

“So, ‘Scorpia’. You got any ideas?”

Scorpia nodded, trying to recall everything Perfuma had said to her. 

“I spoke with a friend of mine earlier who’s really good at this kind of thing. I mean, my girlfriend, actually. It’s kind of a recent thing.” She blushed as she said the words ‘my girlfriend’. 

“Anyway! She said the key here was getting Adora and Catra to connect. They clearly need to talk about whatever’s going on. I figured we could come up with a list of things they like and find where they overlap. Then get them to come do one they have in common. We may have to be a little sneaky about it… I’m not sure if Catra would agree to go if she knew she had to face Adora, but these two  _ really  _ need to talk. I feel bad about lying, but it’s for both of their own goods.”

Bow nodded, seemingly satisfied with this. He picked up a pencil and pointed towards a stack of blank papers.

“Glimmer and I will start writing out things Adora likes to do. Why don’t you start Catra’s list, and we can compare in a minute.”

Scorpia nodded. The three of them sat in silence as they wrote. Scorpia thoughtfully chewed the back of the pencil as she tried to remember activities Catra enjoyed. After about ten minutes, she had come up with the following list:

  * Fighting/sparring
  * Complaining about customers
  * Throwing things
  * Yelling very loudly



She pondered for a moment before crossing them all out. None of those sounded like particularly nice date ideas. She glanced over to see Bow and Glimmer apparently having similar trouble.

“Maybe we should try places they enjoy instead. Restaurants, landmarks, that kind of thing.”

Glimmer nodded. This time, Scorpia was able to come up with a list of more plausible options.

  * The train tracks by our apartment
  * The Crimson Waste
  * The rooftop of the apartment building, looking out over the Fright Zone
  * ~~Salineas~~
  * Erelandia 



The last item on the list was a dance bar on the edge of town. Scorpia was very surprised to learn that Catra knew how to dance, and was doubly surprised to find that she was very good at it. They had visited last summer, while Catra had the week off at Black Garnet while the building was being renovated. 

“Alright, I think I have mine done,” she said.

“Okay, we have ours too!” said Bow. They slid their papers together to the middle of the table so they could all see what they had come up with. Bow and Glimmer’s list was slightly shorter.

  * The Whispering Woods
  * Mystacore gym
  * The candy shop in Thaymore
  * Alwyn diner



“Hmm…” Bow scratched his head thoughtfully.

“Hey, Alwyn is a dance place, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve gone a few times. Adora had a great time.”

“Catra likes Erelandia a lot. Maybe they could go somewhere to dance.” 

“Is that a good idea? What with Adora being deaf and all?” Glimmer piped up.

“Damn, good point.”

“Maybe they don’t have to dance. They could just dress nice and get something to eat. That could work.”

Scorpia nodded.

“That sounds like our best bet! If we can convince them to go, we can coordinate a time to meet up over text. Here, this is my number.”

She scribbled it next to the list of Adora’s favorite places. Glimmer looked over at Scorpia.

“Hey, so, I know I’ve not exactly been happy about this. And I honestly don’t trust Catra for shit. But I still appreciate that you’re doing this for Adora. For both of them. You’re a really good friend.”

Scorpia smiled.

“And thank you guys for being willing to work on this with me. I know you aren’t on the best terms with Catra, but I promise, she’s just lost and hurt. I think this is what she needs to get back on her feet.”

“Adora too. We’ll go home and talk to them. If I hadn’t seen how caring Catra could be first hand, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. But after I watched her drop everything and literally sprint to go and be there for Adora when we didn’t even realize anything was wrong? I think I let my anger get control of me. Don’t get me wrong, if she screws this up, I’ll kick her ass. But I think she does deserve this one chance.” 

Glimmer sat back, apparently having said all she was going to. Bow’s eyes were basically sparkling as he grinned at the two of them.

“C’mon you guys! Group hug?” 

Glimmer looked like she wanted to die at that, but Scorpia was already standing up. Glimmer ended up being smooshed from both sides by Bow and Scorpia. She let out a cry of annoyance and tried to hide in her sweater, but when they pulled back all three of them were laughing. They gathered up their papers and all headed out of the library, determined to help their roommates save their relationship. 


	7. Save The Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow, Glimmer, and Scorpia begin to put their plan into action. Adora and Catra finally talk to their roommates. A date is scheduled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks, school has been kicking my ass. I've just come up on fall break, so hopefully I will be able to get more chapters out in the next few days! ;) we're coming up on the moment y'all have been waiting for, so hold on just a bit longer.

It was dark again by the time Catra heard the door of the apartment open and the shuffling footsteps of Scorpia entering. Catra had managed to rise to her feet once while she was left alone with her thoughts. The growling of her stomach had finally pulled her to the small kitchen to sate her hunger. She had heated up leftovers in the microwave, staring at the plate turning around and around behind the glass door. She barely remembered eating, but she knew it happened. After a quick stop to the bathroom, she returned to her brooding position by the window. 

She had shed the blanket when she rose to prepare her food, and it now lay around her waist, wrinkled blue fabric gently rustling in the breeze gently blowing past from the AC unit on her wall. She sat with one leg hanging off the bed. The other was curled up, knee pointed towards the ceiling, and she had an arm draping off it as she stared off through the window.

The clouds that had been brewing all day had opened up, and a thick fog accompanied the rains that were now pounding down in sheets. Her window was fogged up, water droplets speckling it, so the only things that were visible threw it were the blurry outlines of orange street lamps and raindrops pouring down the cool glass.

The continuous drumming of the falling water was calming. Though her first night spent staring off into the darkness had Catra churning over everything that had happened in her mind, the swirling storm of emotions had settled into an oppressive headache that had taken up residence in her temple. She didn’t really have a train of thought as she watched the rain. It was almost a relief, having a physical pain to focus on instead of a racing mess of regrets. 

She jumped as Scorpia entered. The noisy rain had drowned out the sound of her fumbling with the lock, so Catra was shaken from her stupor as the door suddenly clattered open and her roommate rushed in. She heard Scorpia muttering under her breath as her wet soles squeaked against the floor. Quietly, Catra rose to her feet.

She made her way shakily to her door frame. Scorpia was in the middle of taking off her rain-soaked coat. She seemed to be slightly stuck. As she fumbled around, looking as if she was at risk of falling, Catra did her best to throw an aloof smile on her face as she took a few steps into the room. 

“Dios mío, you’re a mess.”

Catra rolled her eyes and chuckled as Scorpia jumped, looking up from her tangled up position, coat still halfway on. Her voice was thin and scratchy. It almost made her wince. She had been unable to force out her usual smooth and confident tone. To be honest, her voice sounded more like a tired squeak than an attempt at communication. She felt her words grating against her throat as they struggled to escape her lips, barely finding purchase in the air. 

“Oh, hey Catra! It’s good to see you up and about!”

Scorpia finally managed to wriggle her arms free from the dripping fabric. A puddle of water had accumulated at her feet, and her fluffy white hair was laying flat against her head. Catra nodded and leaned up against the wall. She was having difficulty staying balanced. She had been awake for the better part of 45 hours, and was feeling the effects of the heavy exhaustion dragging on her bones. She couldn’t really think of what to say next, so she just stood back and watched Scorpia as she finished taking off her shoes. 

Scorpia ran a hand through soaking hair, tufts of white visible in the spaces between her fingers as she pushed her bangs back and out of her face. She looked… odd. Nervous, maybe? Catra’s head was still throbbing and she had to admit that her intuition was probably a little off at the moment, but something was clearly off. The pair stood for a moment, neither exactly sure about what to say. Finally, Catra broke the silence.

“So. Where’d you head off to today?”

Yeah, something was definitely up. Scorpia glanced at her feet and looked as if she was trying to find an excuse. Catra narrowed her eyes. 

“A few places, actually. Grabbed a coffee, went to go see Perfuma, then I went to the library. I wasn’t really counting on the sky suddenly dropping an ocean on me.”

She laughed anxiously. She was clearly hiding something, but that did sound like a plausible day for Scorpia. Catra nodded, not sure of how to figure out what else was going on. She didn’t have much time to think though, as Scorpia continued speaking.

“Actually, I was wondering something. While I was out with Perfuma, we talked about ways we could maybe help you feel better. I was thinking we could get dressed up and head to Erelandia or something. I think getting out of the house could be good for you.”

Catra took a moment to take in all her words. They felt loud, echoing around in her brain. She was able to latch onto one detail, however.

“You and Perfuma were talking about me?”

Scorpia stuttered slightly as she rushed to respond.

“W-well, not technically! I didn’t say it was you, or what was going on. I mean, I kind of did? I just said a friend of mine was really going through a tough time and I wanted to help out. I promise I wouldn’t talk about you behind your back, Wildcat.”

_ Ugh, why did she have to talk so fast? _

Catra stood and thought for a moment. When she finally spoke up, she could see visible surprise on Scorpia’s face.

“Okay.”

“I- uh, what?”

“Okay. I’ll go. Tomorrow.”

Scorpia looked as if she had not been expecting that. 

“Oh, great! Alright. Good. Yeah. I’ll uh, get back to you tomorrow then?”

Catra suddenly felt every second of the two consecutive days she had spent awake weighing on her. She decided she could try to figure out why Scorpia was acting so weird in the morning. Her bed was calling, no, screaming her name. She turned and walked back into her room without a word. She collapsed onto the cold sheets and threw a forearm over her eyes. She heard Scorpia standing still for a moment before her footsteps made their way into her bedroom, door closing behind her.

\-------------------------------------

[Super Pal Friend Squad Group Chat]

Scorpia

Catra has agreed! I’m shocked it was that easy. Let me know when you convince 

Adora. We’ll discuss timing tomorrow.

Bow

Nice going Scorpia! Operation Save The Cat is a go!!

Scorpia

Operation what?

Glimmer

bow decided we needed a code name to talk about our little plan. we were passing one of those animal rescue billboards on the way home so he went with “save the cat.” this is kind of his thing, just let him have this. i gave up arguing years ago

Scorpia

Actually, I like it! Operation Save The Cat. Go team!

Bow

See Glimmer? She gets it.

\--------------------------------------

Adora’s door was still closed when Bow and Glimmer returned. The pair eyed each other nervously as they pulled off their jackets. It had begun to rain just as the two of them had made it back, so their clothes were slightly damp. They could hear the gentle sprinkle escalate to a downpour from within their apartment. 

“Glad we didn’t get caught in that,” Glimmer remarked offhandedly, eyeing a nearby window.

Bow pulled out his phone.    
  


Bow

Hey Adora. Glimmer and I are going to come in, okay? You’ve been in your room for a really long time. We want to talk to you. 

There was a muffled buzz in the other room as the text was delivered. Glimmer slid her fingers between Bow’s as they waited for a response, positioning herself so that they could both see the screen. There was a long pause before Adora responded. 

Adora

K

Glimmer nodded at Bow, and they made their way over to the door. It was unlocked. Bow opened it slowly, as if he was nervous about what he might find within. The room was dark. Bow and Glimmer exchanged a look, clearly both reminded of the night of Adora’s panic attack. 

They were sitting on their bed, though. The curtains were drawn, and Adora was cross-legged with their back against their pillows. They glanced up and smiled shakily as Bow and Glimmer slowly entered. 

Bow pointed to the light, cocking his head slightly, silently asking for permission to turn it on. Adora nodded. A warm, yellow light filled the room as he clicked on the switch. Adora squinted against the sudden glow; she had probably been sitting in the dark for the past two days. Glimmer walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Scorpia came by Bright Moon today. Catra’s roommate, if you remember?”

Adora nodded, a questioning look on her face.

“She came by asking about what happened between you and Catra. She said Catra's been equally torn up about everything.”

Several expressions flashed across Adora’s face. Glimmer recognized fear and sadness before her roommate settled on concern, brows furrowed. 

“So. I guess you know then? About the kiss?”

Glimmer stopped. She looked at Bow, who was looking equally as startled.

“What kiss? Scorpia just said Catra was locked up in her room and barely speaking. Adora what the hell happened?” 

Adora looked mortified. She looked as if she was about to try and backpedal, but she sighed instead. 

“After I left to go talk to Catra, I kept trying to come up with what I could say to reach out to her, but I had nothing. I thought since she came to me with actions instead of words, I could try that. But I didn’t know what action could say what I wanted to say either. When I got there, we argued. She said she didn’t want my sympathy, that she just wanted me to leave. Guys, I was just panicking. I was so scared that when she closed the door I would lose her forever. Before, back when we had just woken up, I kept getting this weird feeling around her. I don’t know what it was. But it came back then, and it kind of took over. I already knew what the action had to be as I was leaning forward. I didn’t even ask her if permission. After that I thought I’d ruined everything. She just stared at me, she didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to do, so I just ran. I don’t think she’ll ever want to see me again after that.”

Adora had begun crying as they signed. They sniffled as they finished, running a hand across their face. Bow and Glimmer reached out, each taking one of their hands and holding them comfortingly. The trio sat for a moment while Adora tried to regain their composure. Finally, Bow took his hands away to sign.

“I don’t think you ruined anything.”

Adora cocked her head shakily.

“What do you mean?”

“When Scorpia came to us, she said that Catra had refused to speak, except for saying that  _ she  _ had been the one to ruin things. She said that when Catra gets hurt, she lashes out. But the way she descended into misery made Scorpia think she was hurting just as bad as you. I don’t think she wants to let you go. I think she just doesn’t know how to hold onto vulnerability when she gets hurt. And… Glimmer and I have an idea on how we can fix this.”

Adora sat up straight, staring intently at her roommates. 

“How?”

Glimmer took over now, recapping the plan that she, Bow, and Scorpia had hatched at the library. 

“Scorpia has already texted back,” she finished.

“Catra has agreed to go out tomorrow. She doesn’t know you’ll be there, but it’s the perfect opportunity for you two to make up.”

Adora looked torn. They were wringing their hands together, clearly deep in thought. 

“I don’t know guys. What if she doesn’t really want to see me? Is lying to her really our best bet here? I feel like that would be a violation of her trust.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think you’re going to get many other chances. If you really want her back, isn’t it at least worth a try?”

Resolve appeared on Adora’s face. She nodded solemnly.

“You’re right. I have to try. If she really wants me to go, she can tell me again. I’ll listen if she pushes me away when I see her. But I’ll do it.”

Glimmer threw her arms around Adora. When she pulled back, she was smiling at her friend.

“I don’t know what you see in that girl, but you clearly care about each other. Bow and I will make this happen. Now come on! We’ve gotta pick your outfit!”

Bow pulled out his phone and sent a quick message message while Glimmer and Adora stood up from the bed.

\---------------------------------------------

[Super Pal Friend Squad Group Chat]

Bow

Phase one is complete. Adora’s in. We’re getting her outfit together. Get back to 

us with the plan when you have it, Scorpia.

Scorpia

On it, boss!

>:)

\-------------------------------------------

Glimmer hummed happily as she rummaged through Adora’s closet. She had been the one to buy most of the clothes contained within. Adora had been happy to cycle through the same three pairs of sweatpants and tank tops each day, but Glimmer was not having it.

“Any roommate of mine is going to be stylish and able to get dressed up should the need arise. I refuse to allow you to show up to a fancy event wearing sweaty workout clothes.”

Adora had protested, but it was clear they did not have a choice in the matter. They were secretly thankful to let Bow and Glimmer handle their outfit, though. They knew that if they decided they would pull together a trainwreck of mismatched clothing. Adora had never cared for nor been particularly good at keeping up with the latest fashion trends. Typically, they just based their knowledge of it off whatever Glimmer was wearing that month.

A set of clothes was shoved into their arms.

“Here, try these on. Bow, out.”

Bow nodded and took his leave as Adora changed into what Glimmer had handed her. The outfit was comprised of a simple, black skirt that barely reached her knees, a tucked in white button up, and a crisply ironed tan corduroy suit jacket. Adora had no idea where the jacket had come from.

Glimmer had a hand to her mouth, thoughtfully looking Adora up and down.

“No, that won’t do.”

She turned back to her rummaging as Adora removed the uncomfortable fabric from around her arms. She was glad Glimmer had disapproved, she did not want to be wearing that when Catra saw her. 

“Ok. This one now.”

This time, Glimmer had tossed a pair of high waisted black pinstripe pants and a trench coat at them, a set of black suspenders nearly hitting her in the face. She left the same white button up on. This felt equally as bad as the first outfit, if not worse.

“Aright, I think I know what I’ve been doing wrong. As much as I’d love for this outfit to send off big dorky lesbian vibes, I don’t think that’s gonna work. Let me see…”

Finally, Glimmer returned with a simple red dress. It was sleeveless, and comprised of two slightly different shades of red fabric. A simple gold belt was sewn into the the waist, pinching it to snugly fit her figure. Actually? Adora didn’t hate this. It didn’t restrict her broad shoulders like the other outfits had, and it put her impressive muscles on display. The front was entirely covered too, fabric extending all the way up to her neck. She was thankful for that, she had always felt extremely self conscious when her clothing dipped beneath her collar bone. 

Glimmer nodded approvingly.

“I think we found it.”

Adora nodded, smiling to herself as she looked into the mirror. 

“Bow will help you do some makeup tomorrow. Scorpia said that Catra really likes going to this place called Erelandia. It’s kind of like Alwyn! She’ll be there tomorrow evening. Does that sound good?”

Adora smiled as she signed her confirmation.

“Yes, it does. Thank you two so much.”

Glimmer grinned back at her. 

“Of course. Bow and I are here to help, okay?”

She pulled Adora into a hug. 

“Now. Get some rest. You look like shit.”

  
Adora was not about to argue with that. Slipping into some comfortable sleepwear, they waved to Glimmer as she left the room. As they crawled into bed, they felt hope for the first time since they had read _that_ text from Catra.  _ Maybe we do have a chance after all. _


	8. I Promise I'll Be Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora finally talk about what happened. Tears are shed. A promise is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know I couldn't keep up the angst for much longer <3

Catra stretched back her fingerless gloves and let them snap dramatically against her wrists. She clenched her right hand into a fist, smirking into her reflection in the window. She had pulled on her favorite suit: deep purple pants and a matching tuxedo jacket, opened to reveal a reddish-pink shirt that highlighted the darker main colors. The ends of her sleeves were cuffed to reveal the same lighter accent poking out from the inside of her coat. The collar of her shirt was popped sharply, and an untied bowtie drooped lazily down her chest. She topped off the look with her usual red bandana. 

She was feeling much better that day. With the assistance of copious caffeine consumption and a good 16 hours of sleep, she had managed to chase back her headache. It was about 5pm now, and she and Scorpia were getting ready for their trip to Erelandia. Catra wasn’t entirely sure why she had agreed to go in the first place. She mostly chalked it up exhaustion, but she admitted to herself that it would be a nice distraction. Making her way into the main room, she cocked a hip and crossed her arms, waiting for Scorpia to be ready.

A moment later, she entered the room as well. Scorpia was wearing a black dress that was cut to show off her right shoulder and most of her leg. A vertical line of purple accented her left side. She had a crimson belt tied around her waist, expensive looking garnet earrings, and was wearing black lip gloss. Catra raised an eyebrow, impressed.

“Never knew you could be so stylish, Scorp! ¡Ambas miramos muy lujosas!”

She winked. Resting had helped her to recover her usual flirtatious confidence. Scorpia grinned at her.

“You ready to get going?”

Catra nodded, and the pair made their way out the door. The sun had just begun setting. The sky was partially obscured by clouds, but the weather had cleared up since last night’s downpour. Catra was glad; though she liked cozying up inside on rainy days and watching the somber weather, walking through a downpour in the middle of winter would  _ not _ be an enjoyable experience. The smell of wet leaves still made its way into her nose as they walked. After being cooped up for a few days, the fresh air felt delicious. Catra happily soaked in the bitter chill of the December air.

The walk to Erelandia wasn’t too far, and Catra’s spirits were high. Scorpia, though her strides were significantly longer than Catra’s, had to speed walk in order to keep up with her. Still, the pair managed to pull of a cocky strut as they made their way down the sidewalk. They looked good, they knew it, and wanted everyone to know they knew it. 

Catra walked like she owned every piece of cracked pavement she took a step onto. Her hands were shoved carelessly in her pockets, and there was a slight grin twisting up the corners of her mouth. Each step carried her forward without a second thought. 

Despite this, her cocky attitude did not extend into her mind. She was tired. Not as exhausted as the day before, but tired nonetheless. And she couldn’t shake that twisting guilt in her stomach. 

Catra had woken up that afternoon to thoughts of Adora. She dreamed about waking next to them, staring at their sleeping face and gently running a finger along their jaw. She remembered so vividly the warm golden sunlight spilling in through the window, making Adora practically glow.  Catra had only seen Adora in person a handful of times, but every feature of their face had been etched into her memory. She had awoken on her side, the ghost of a smile echoed on her lips. It had slowly died as she realized she would never have that. She had made sure of it. 

She wanted so badly for Adora to be the first thing she saw when she woke up. Wanted to be the first thing Adora saw when  _ she _ woke up. She was still able to feel her strong arm wrapped around her stomach, her deep breaths tickling the back of her neck. 

Catra shook her head. There was no point in thinking about that now. The sooner she could forget Adora, the better.

They reached Erelandia just as Catra was trying to shake off the thoughts of Adora’s embrace. Scorpia swung the door open and gestured for her to go first. She was smiling, eyes crinkled up at the edges.

_ Adora’s eyes crinkle like that when they smile. _

No, stop that, Catra scolded herself. Was she really that desperate? She stepped in, taking in the sight of the crowded restaurant. It reminded her of the Crimson Waste, except less noisy and much brighter. There were windows here too, whereas the Waste was only lit by the pulsing red glow of the spotlights affixed to the ceiling. 

Scorpia walked in behind her. She glanced up from her phone. Catra hadn’t even noticed her pull it out. 

“Why don’t we go find somewhere to sit? Here, follow me.”

Catra was still a little lost in thought, so she followed without complaint. Adjusting her suit jacket, she trailed after the tall, bulky figure of Scorpia. It was kind of hard to miss. 

Scorpia turned a corner; walking towards a line of booths set against the wall. The restaurant was split into two: half of it was a dining area, the other half a 24/7 dance floor. The music could be heard across the entire room, of course, and Catra tapped a hand on her leg along to the beat as they went. 

She glanced up to see where Scorpia was leading her and _ - _

Oh.

_ Oh. _

There was someone standing there, hands folded awkwardly. She was wearing a red dress, and her blonde hair was tied back neatly. A gold hairpin was visible peeking out from the base of her ponytail.

_ It was Adora. _

————————————————-

Catra wanted to run. She wanted to turn and bolt, to hide from her mistakes, to just get away. She stood staring, mouth slightly agape. Every time she tried to turn around to sprint off, flashes of moments she shared with Adora screamed in her mind.

_ Adora, blushing profusely as Catra gave them her number. _

_ Adora, leaning her face into Catra’s palm, skin soft and wet with tears.  _

_ Adora, hugging her tight as they slept. _

_ Adora, grabbing her arm and kissing her. _

_ Adora. _

Catra couldn’t run. She couldn’t keep running. She couldn’t give this up. She couldn’t bare to see Adora fading off into the night again like they had when they had run away. Catra had called out to them, screamed their name, and now here was her chance to have a do over. To talk to them like they could have heard her cry, and came back to talk to her.

She ran a hand through her hair. She took a shaky step forward, unsure of what to say. The tension between them felt like a rubber band being pulled tight. Finally, it seemed like they had both figured out in unison what they wanted to say to one another.

“I’m sorry.”

Both of them rubbed their fists over the hearts at the same time. Adora chuckled nervously. The sound made Catra want to melt. She wanted to fling herself into Adora’s arms like nothing else in the world mattered, but she restrained herself. 

“What to sit down?” She gestured to the booth instead.

Adora nodded and sat. Catra joined her on the opposite bench. Here she was. Catra really had time to soak in every detail of how she looked as she sat and stared at her. 

She had a subtle red smokey-eye applied that matched her dress and made her blue-grey irises stand out sharply. A dusting of sparkly gold eye shadow was placed beneath her eyes. Someone had picked out a rosy pink blush to highlight her cheeks- or maybe that was natural? Catra hoped it was. If Adora was blushing, maybe she still had a chance with her? Slowly, she found the will to tear her gaze away and begin signing.

“Adora… I’m sorry. Again. Sorry doesn’t begin to cover it. I know it won’t fix what I did, but I hope it’s a start. I never wanted to push you away. I just… I got scared. I was so upset and confused, I got angry. I lashed out because it’s all I know  _ how  _ to do.”

Adora blinked like she was holding back tears.

“And I’m sorry for kissing you without your permission. I got swept up in the moment, I was so terrified of losing you. I didn’t know how else to show you I needed you in my life. I was worried the last time I would see you would be as that door slammed.”

Fuck, now it was Catra’s turn to try not to cry.

“You shouldn’t apologize. I’m the one who fucked up here. I should have never blamed you for me getting fired. I don’t even know how I can begin to show you how sorry I am.”

“How bout we start with you buying me dinner?”

Adora winked and grinned. Were they seriously flirting right now? Catra almost laughed. She returned Adora’s grin. 

“If that’s all it’ll take, sure.”

“Why don’t you pick something off the menu. I can go put in our orders.”

Catra felt a sudden fear gripping her heart. What if Adora left and never came back? What if this was all a sick joke to get their revenge?”

“No!”

Catra signed desperately, before stopping to cover for herself.

“I mean… we should go up together. Plus, it’d be a pain if the folks at the register don’t know ESL.”

Adora nodded, seemingly unaware of the panic that had gripped Catra a second ago, or if they had noticed, they didn’t comment on it. 

The two of them picked up their menus. Catra could barely concentrate. A sudden understanding dawned on her as she tried to read her options.

_ So  this  _ _is what Scorpia was being so weird about. She had to be in on this._ Catra made a mental note to talk to her about it later. 

She glanced up from her menu to see Adora’s eyes quickly flitting down back to their own. Had they been staring at Catra? She smirked. 

Being back in Adora’s presence washed away every negative emotion in Catra’s system. It was like a hard reset on all the guilt and pain of the past few days. She was immediately fully restored to her old, flirty self. This is the way things were supposed to be.

The two of them picked their meals and went up to order. Catra got a fish fillet, Adora went for a salad. Always the health nut. Couldn’t even relax on a date.

_ A date? _

Catra steeled herself. This wasn’t a date. She  _ wanted _ it to be, but she couldn’t imagine Adora felt the same. 

_ Remember. I’m here to apologize. Not to hit on them. Stay focused. _

When they had returned with their food, they ate in a comfortable silence. There was still a level of unresolved tension between them, but it was much lighter than before. 

Catra found it increasingly impossible to keep her eyes on her plate. She kept stealing glances up at Adora, smiling at the focus they seemed to be employing just to finish a meal, staring at their soft features, blushing at the very visible muscles of their arms. 

She leaned her chin against her palm, openly staring at this point. Adora finally glanced up and flashed her a cheesy grin. 

“Enjoying the view?”

That got Catra to look away. Her face flushed. 

_ Oops. _

A thought crossed her mind suddenly. Trusting her impulse, she caught Adora’s attention.

“Hey. Wanna pay and get out of here? I know a really nice spot we could go. Somewhere we can catch up in private.”

Adora smiled that sweet, affectionate smile at her. 

“That sounds wonderful.”

As they rose to leave, Catra glanced around. She caught Scorpia sitting at a table across the room, accompanied by Adora’s roommates. She shot Catra a smile and gave an encouraging thumbs up.

————————————————

Catra and Adora fell into an even pace as they walked. The sun had nearly set, the last of its warm rays disappearing behind the rooftops. Catra glanced over to see Adora shivering. Her dress was sleeveless, and the hair on her arms was standing up against the cold.

Catra slid off her suit jacket. She didn’t mind the chilly air, in fact she relished in the stinging cold against her skin. Without signing a word, she tossed it around Adora’s shoulders. Adora blushed and slid her arms through the sleeves. Had the coat not been two sizes too big on Catra, it definitely wouldn’t have fit. Even with that in mind, it still looked a little small on her.

Regardless, Adora grinned down at Catra.

“You’re so considerate,” they signed.

Catra responded with a wink.

“Anything for you, princess.”

Catra thought Adora was going to concede and let her win that exchange, but she was mistaken. She felt soft skin brushing against her hand before large fingers wrapped their way in between her thin ones.

She looked up, taken aback, but Adora was keeping their eyes forward, a shit-eating grin on their face. Catra smiled and briefly leaned her head to the side, brushing it against Adora’s shoulder.

The pair walked the rest of the way without exchanging any more words. When they finally arrived, they were standing near Catra’s apartment. She led Adora to a gate in the chain link fence, next to the vandalized “Fright Zone” sign. 

The two entered the train yard. Industrial lighting always kept this place bathed in a steady glow, a permanent little island in the sea of darkness surrounding them. The sky was dark now, so anything outside this bubble was lost in the inky black abyss. 

Catra walked over to where a pile of crates were stacked up against a warehouse. 

“Up here.”

She scrambled up them, making her way to the roof. She glanced down to see Adora hesitating with an apprehensive look on their face. 

“C’mon dummy. I come up here all time. It’s perfectly safe.”

She walked across the smooth concrete roof away from the edge so that Adora had no choice but to follow.

This was her spot. She had never taken anyone else here before. Whenever she was upset and wanted to be left alone, this is where she came. She heard rustling, several grunts, and then footsteps as Adora managed to struggle their way into the roof.

They sat down, and Catra’s followed suit. This station was at the top of a hill, so when you looked out, the entirety of the Fright Zone was laid out in front of you. Train tracks carved their way through the land. Black masses of buildings stood silent and solemn, nothing but shapes in the swirling dark of night. As usual, the stars were hidden. It was scary. But it was beautiful too, in a strange way. 

Speaking of beauty, Catra glanced over to Adora. Their cheeks were rosy from the cold. Catra could see their breath freezing in the air. 

“This is where I go when I want to be alone,” she explained.  “Nobody else has ever been here. Not since this warehouse was built, at least. It’s special. It’s the only place in this city that’s truly mine. I figured if I was going to try and apologize, I should start by sharing this with you. So here you have it. This rooftop is the most important place in the world to me. But I’m glad I’m sharing it with you.” 

Adora was giving Catra that look again. The look she had seen only twice, once right after they had woken up together, once when Adora had leaned in and kissed her. She restrained herself from tracing her lips with her finger where theirs had met hers.

“It’s really gorgeous. I’m glad we came here. Something about talking about… all  _ that  _ in a public restaurant felt weird.”

Catra agreed. She took a breath, trying to find her words.

“Ok, so. Do you mind if I try to explain why I did what I did? I’m not trying to excuse it, but I want to open up to you.”

Adora nodded, staring at Catra intently. She gulped before continuing.

“So, um, as you know, talking about my feelings is really hard for me. As a kid, emotions were taught to me as a weakness. Something to hide deep within. I developed a lot of fucked up coping mechanisms in that household.”

Her arms were exposed to the cold air with Adora wearing her coat, and she ran a finger over the line of pale scars criss-crossing the underside of her arm. Adora’s brows furrowed but they didn’t interrupt.

“Anyway. I got out as quick as I could. But I took that attitude with me. And for the most part, my experiences seemed to line up with it. I really believed it. I would put myself out in the world, let myself be vulnerable. And then I would get hurt. Every time, without fail. I came to associate vulnerability and openness with suffering and loss.”

She bit her lip, trying not to let out a sob.

“When I got fired it was like… like my whole life got turned upside down. Everything was a mess of pain and confusion and fear. I felt like I had no choice but to fall back on my old ways. Please believe me Adora, sending that text was the worst mistake of my life.”

Adora reached up and brushed away a tear that was falling down her cheek. Her fingers were big and clumsy, but so soft and gentle. Catra smiled shakily.

“I thought I was doing us both a favor. I thought cutting you out would mean I would be safe. And I thought pulling away would mean I would only have to hurt you once. That you wouldn’t have to put your hopes in me only to be let down over and over. It hurt more than anything. I have never felt more lost in my life.”

Her hands were shaking now. She tried to tell herself it was just from the cold, but she knew that wasn’t true.

“When you kissed me, I finally understood the full weight of what I was throwing away. I finally understood what I had done. I, um. As you were running away, I called out to you. I knew you couldn’t hear me, but for every second I spent not running after you, the guilt grew. Adora, I am so sorry. I hope someday you can forgive me. Maybe some day I’ll be able forgive myself, too.”

Adora had joined Catra in her tears. The golden eyeshadow was caught up in them as they fell, so that they sparkled and shone in the low light, specks of gold shimmering on their cheeks. Catra couldn’t understand how a sight could be so heart wrenching but so gorgeous at the same time.

The two sat in silence for a while. Finally, Adora took her hands from where they had been resting in Catra’s lap.

“I don’t even know where to start, honestly. I can’t lie to you. I  _ was  _ hurt by what you said. I tend to take on everyone’s burdens and try to fix them myself. Your text made me feel extremely guilty. I woke up in time to get you off to work but I stayed in bed. I felt so selfish.”

Catra nodded, throat clenched tight. It was all she could do to avoid breaking eye contact and looking down.

“But to be honest? I can’t stay mad at you. I think I’ve already forgiven you in my heart. I understand why you did what you did. I need you to know that you hurt me, I won’t say you didn’t. But I never doubted for a second that you were a good person, even if you made a bad choice.”

Catra was feeling so many emotions. She was still shaking, but she waited for Adora to finish. 

“I have forgiven you. But if you want to make it up to me anyway, there’s something you can do for me.”

Catra cocked her head.

“Anything! What is it?”

“Stay with me and show me that you can do better.”

Catra took a moment to really let the words sink in. She was going to get another chance. And she was  _ not  _ going to ruin it.

“I will.” She nodded, determined. “I promise you I will. I'll do everything in my power to make this right. I promise I'll do better. For both of us.”

Adora nodded. Their hands reached out to take Catra’s once again. The two sat, smiling and trying to stop the flow of their tears. Finally, Catra leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Adora’s shoulders. Adora returned the gesture, weaving their fingers together and resting their hands on her lower back. They stayed there for a long moment. 

When they finally broke apart, Adora had a smile on her face.

“Hey, it’s my turn to have a great idea.”

“Oh yeah?”

Adora pulled out her phone and glanced at the weather app, before continuing.

“Yup. You said you can never see the stars here, right?”

“Yeah, why? You gonna take me to space or something, Adora?”

“No, but I know somewhere you can have the next best thing. The skies are going to be clear tomorrow. It’s my turn to take you somewhere special to me. Somewhere only I know about.”

Catra smiled.

“Sounds like a date, princess.”


	9. The Words I Never Spoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora takes Catra somewhere only she knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stg if those ending notes repeat again and ruin my ending’s moment ima be so pissed

Catra was still smiling by the time she re-entered the apartment. She and Adora had sat and talked for hours, thriving in the comfort of being next to one another. Catra hadn’t realized just how many things about Adora she missed until she had them again.

The way snorts broke up their laughter as their eyes crinkled up around the edges. The gracefulness with which their otherwise clumsy fingers signed. The way the two of them could spend hours upon end talking about seemingly nothing, but walk away from the conversation feeling like they had talked about everything.

Most of all, Catra missed the silence. She missed being able to speak with her hands. When she communicated with others, she was forced to use her voice, and even though she had long since perfected the means of manipulating it to register as female in the ears of all who heard it, it was draining. Her throat easily became sore, and she limited how much she spoke, looking for every possible way to cut down her word count. 

But with Adora, she was free to express herself. Talking to Adora in person was like texting, in that Catra could say all the words on her mind without wincing or longing for a life in which she was born with a voice that suited her. The feeling of speaking felt and sounded strange now whenever she heard it. Catra had realized as the two of them sat on the rooftop, legs long since fallen asleep, that she shared something special with Adora.

Adora knew a side of Catra the world had never seen before. Not even Catra had realized it existed. But she was free to joke, laugh, and be open around Adora. Never in her life had she willingly laid out her innermost vulnerabilities like she had for Adora. In that moment, for the first time in her life, instead of feeling weak, Catra just felt safe to say anything and everything on her mind.

  
  
  


When she cracked open the door, peering in to see if she needed to sneak past a sleeping Scorpia, she found her roommate sharing her grin, sitting on the couch. Scorpia immediately stood up and walked over.

“So, how’d it go?”

Her tone was teasing, and she elongated the vowels in “so” and “go”. Catra responded by hugging her. _That_ seemed to throw her off. She stood stunned for a moment before returning the gesture, resting her hands gently around Catra’s shoulders, as if she was afraid Catra would attack if she applied too much pressure.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as she openly made a display of caring and vulnerability. 

_Adora makes me better,_ she thought. _Adora shows me how to be a version of myself that I can love._

She stepped back, toothily grinning up at Scorpia. 

“It went great!”

“I’m so glad to hear that! So, I guess you know about the whole going behind your back thing now. I’m really sorry I lied to you, Wildcat, but-“

Catra cut her off. Scorpia looked nervous, as if she was fearing a physical rebuke by Catra. She felt a twinge of guilt that she had unconsciously trained her friend to come to expect such a reaction from her.

“You don’t need to apologize. I actually wanted to thank you. You’ve done so much for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever acknowledged that, not fully. Without you, I would still be spiraling. I was in a total free-fall, and despite the fact I’ve barely done anything other than hurt you, you fixed everything. You helped me grab Adora’s hand again just before they slipped from my grasp forever. You’re the reason I can even sign to them at all. Seriously, Scorp. Thank you for everything.”

Scorpia looked like she was going to cry. Her hands were covering her mouth and Catra could practically see the sparkle in her eye.

“But don’t you ever lie to me again, or else.”

She grinned and punched Scorpia gently on the arm, trying to lighten the mood (and the embarrassment clearly making its way into her cheeks). Scorpia did not respond verbally. Instead, she signed her answer to Catra, and thanks to her tutoring, Catra understood every word perfectly.

“I was happy to help. I knew you just needed someone to be there for you. You’ve kept yourself alone for so long, and I knew as long as you had people showing you they cared you’d finally learn to show that care to yourself. Seeing you around them makes me happy, because it makes you happy. I care about you, there’s no way I was gonna leave you hanging like that.”

She smiled at her friend, before adding, “and plus, now you owe me double. One for the signing classes and one for the Adora thing.”

Catra rolled her eyes.

“Are you sure those didn’t come free from the goodness of your heart?” she signed back.

Scorpia shook her head solemnly as if to say “not a chance.” The two wished each other a goodnight before making their way into their separate rooms. Scorpia had requested another hug, to which Catra had told her she was pushing her luck much too far. 

She felt good. Things felt good. She clicked on her phone, checking to see if there were any new messages from Adora for the first time in days. There were two.

Adora

Meet me at my apartment at dusk tomorrow. Dress warm. 

Also, Glimmer says she wants to talk to you. Don’t think you’re getting out of this one, sorry :P

Catra

eh, i’ll live. one chat with sparkles won’t kill me. probably. 

Adora

That’s the spirit! :)

The two continued just like old times. Catra spent most of her night in bed smiling at her phone. She had Adora again. _She had Adora again._ Catra felt newly appreciative of the relationships she had neglected before. She made a mental promise to herself that from here on out, she would treat her friends with more care.

She promised to be better. For Adora. For herself.

———————————————

Adora clearly had something big planned. Ever since their first conversation, a rivalrous dynamic had arisen between the two. Catra absolutely relished in the fact that she could make Adora squirm with compliments or lewd insinuations, and secretly loved that Adora was just as happy to make them back.

So when Catra woke up, she began planning how she could one up Adora on this date. She smiled at the word. This was a date. And she would be damned if she didn’t stun Adora with how she looked.

She had been meaning to do this for a while. It had always been a pain, really. Always getting in her face, trapping the heat against her neck during the summer, absolutely impossible to tame with any comb or brush. Catra figured now was the time, for two reasons.

One, she felt like this was a major turning point in her life. She wanted to start fresh, and that included a new look.

And two, she wanted to see Adora’s double-take at her vastly different appearance.

So, with the help of Scorpia (and a borrowed mirror propped up against the broken one), Catra cut her hair. She was sad to see it go. It had been a defining feature of her style, and she delighted in how wild it looked. But when she looked at the finished product, the girl in the mirror looked older, more mature. And she also looked… kinder. Her smile was softer, more obvious. It was refreshing.

Trying to rid herself of itchy hairs left behind by the haircut was not as refreshing. She had pretty much never cut her hair in her life, except trimming an inch or so off the ends so it remained light enough to stick up in all directions.

Still, two back to back showers seemed to do the trick well enough. She figured she could use the extra cleanliness anyway. No reason she shouldn’t go all out. 

For her outfit, she deliberated for quite a while. She decided to go for a slightly different version of her usual style. She slipped into the normal red leggings and tight crimson tank top, but threw on a cropped black hoodie made from warm fleece. Her midriff was covered by her shirt but still visible. The arms of the hoodie covered the length of her arms, scars included. She was going to be open from now on, but some baby steps were necessary to get to that level of comfort.

Finally, she pulled on a pair of old hiking boots. They were tattered and worn, but comfy. They had seen use effectively every day she was in high school, and she felt like her look wasn’t complete without them. She tapped the toes against the ground to make them fit more snugly. 

She considered throwing on her old red bandana, but decided against it. She could work it into a future outfit maybe, but today she left it folded neatly on her pillow. 

Smiling contentedly at her reflection, she stepped out of the bathroom. It was late afternoon, and Catra had about a half hour before she needed to be at Adora’s apartment. The walk would take most of it, but she decided to drop in on Scorpia before she left.

Grabbing a snack from the kitchen, she knocked on the door. She heard a muffled “come in!” Catra didn’t make a habit of entering Scorpia’s room, so she wasn’t particularly familiar with the layout.

It was tidy, but not spotless like Adora’s room. The walls were a deep red color. Orange fairy lights lined the corners of her ceiling, and a desk was placed beneath her window, papers and nick-nacks shoved together in an attempt to fit them all. Several potted plants hung from the ceiling, giving the room a very calm atmosphere. Scorpia was sitting in bed reading a book. Quiet music was drifting out of a speaker placed on her floor.

Catra stepped in, taking in the sight. She would have to make a habit of visiting Scorpia more often, after all, she lived about 10 feet away from Catra. Scorpia patted the mattress next to her, inviting Catra to sit. She nodded and made her way over. The bed sunk very far as she sat, clearly Scorpia had a layer of foam beneath the sheets to make it extra soft. It was extremely comfortable.

Catra pulled herself up and sat cross legged. She tapped her legs thoughtfully as she realized she didn’t actually have anything to say.

“You need anything before your date?”, Scorpia asked. She set her book pages-down on the nightstand. 

“No, I don’t think so. I just wanted to stop by.”

She felt awkward, but made an effort to remain seated. Old Catra would have just left, but she reminded herself she was changing. 

“We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to. It’s perfectly fine for us to just hang out and chill for a bit.”

“That’s a thing people can do?”, Catra responded, almost surprised.

“Yeah, but you usually like to be alone so I never mentioned it.”

Catra hummed thoughtfully, nodding slowly.

“Well… maybe we should hang out more often then. Your room is nice. I wouldn’t mind the change of scenery.”

Scorpia beamed at her.

“You’re welcome in here whenever you like! Unless Perfuma’s over of course, cus then-“

“Good gods please spare me the details.”

They both laughed. Catra leaned back and closed her eyes. She let the music fill her ears, felt the softness of the bed beneath her, smelled the scent of the candle burning on the desk. This was nice.

They sat for several minutes, both of them just taking in the moment silently. The lack of conversation wasn’t awkward like it usually would be, instead it was peaceful and comfortable. 

Catra had learned to love the quiet. She had learned so much in the past few days about what interaction could be. If she could bond with her friends without needing her voice, without needing to push herself to discomfort in order to communicate, without needing to push them away when she feared they would hurt her? She could get used to this. 

Finally, Catra signed to Scorpia that she should get going. Scorpia nodded and wished her luck. 

“Oh, and Catra! You look great.”

“Complimenting your own handiwork, huh?”

“I mean, maybe a bit…”

Catra laughed as she made her way to the door. She waved her goodbyes and clicked it shut. She felt calm. The jitteriness at the prospect of going out with Adora had faded into a warm, serene comfort. Yeah, she could _definitely_ get used to this. 

—————————————————

Catra had a spring in her step as she made her way towards Adora’s home that had never been present before. She soaked in the wavering rays of sunlight as she walked, hands shoved in her pockets. Catra actually had to resist the urge to hum, reminding herself that she had to keep at least _some_ of her previous dignity.

Her heart was racing as the building came into view. It stood eight stories high, a behemoth with white walls and a fountain out front. It was pretty excessive. Catra had resented Adora for living in such an uppity area at first, and it was true that she harbored a distaste for this half of town that hoarded unearned wealth, but she was too focused on her upcoming meeting to think about that as she approached the revolving glass door.

She drummed her fingers nervously on the glass of the elevator as it rose. The wall of the elevator shaft was one big window, so you could see the entire city as you rode up. It was a stunning view. Orange and gold light licked the buildings lazily, and there was not a single cloud in the sky. The deep blue of evening was already beginning to fade into a dark black as the sun sank beneath the skyline. 

There was a ding as Catra arrived on the seventh floor. Adjusting her sweater nervously, she made her way over to the apartment door. The last time she had been here she had been sprinting, tunnel vision between her and Adora, so as she walked it felt like it took an eternity. Finally, she made it. Taking a deep breath to steel her fluttering nerves, she grabbed the simple metal knocker and rapped twice.

The door opened to reveal Glimmer, standing half a head shorter than Catra. She was already wearing pajamas, and had a mug of hot chocolate in her hand. 

“Nice haircut,” she mused while gesturing for Catra to come in. She accepted, awkwardly stepping over the boundary into the main room. Glimmer closed the door behind her.

“Adora said you wanted to talk to me before we left?”

“Yup. Sit.”

She pointed to the kitchen table. Catra spoke as she walked over and took a seat.

“Speaking of Adora, where are they?”

“In their room, still getting ready. They’ll be out in a moment. Now.”

She set her mug down and stared across the table at Catra.

“Two things. One: you are on thin fucking ice, okay? You put a toe out of line tonight and I will make your life a living hell. Got it? You get one chance. Don’t fuck it up.”

She made direct eye contact with Catra as she spoke. Catra nodded, she could understand Glimmer’s anger, it was well deserved.

“And two? Thanks, Catra.”

That was… unexpected?

“Um, thanks for what exactly?”

“For everything you do for Adora. She gets so happy around you. She came back smiling yesterday and talked to us excitedly for like, three hours. It was kind of annoying actually. I also want to apologize. I think I judged you too harshly when we first met. I’ve seen how caring you can be, and I really did see how sorry you were yesterday. I’m willing to give you another chance. So, you better impress me.”

Catra was silent for a moment, thinking over Glimmer’s words. When she responded, she took her time, trying to find the right words.

“In your defense, I did not make the best first impression. Or third impression. Hell, every time I’ve seen you I’ve fucked _something_ up. But I appreciate that you’re giving me this chance. I promised Adora that I would try to be a better person, and I intend to make good on that. And trust me. If I do anything else that ends up hurting Adora, I’ll punish myself harder than you ever could.”

“You wanna bet?”

She grinned competitively. Catra raised an eyebrow.

“No, because that implies it’s going to happen, and like I said, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t.”

Glimmer nodded, as if conceding victory. 

“Good answer.” 

If Glimmer had wanted to add anything else, her chance was interrupted as Adora’s door swung open. Catra waved and grinned from her seat. 

Adora was dressed as if she was ready to go on a mission into the Arctic, her look complete with earmuffs and a pair of mittens poking out of her coat pockets. When she saw Catra, she looked like a computer glitching, at which Catra was infinitely smug. After a few seconds of Adora staring, Catra laughed and signed a greeting.

“Has Adora XP finished buffering yet or are you gonna need another minute?”

Adora looked like she was trying to remember what language was.

“You.. your hair. It’s different,” she said, pointing. 

“Very observant, princess. Do you like it?”

Catra was absolutely _relishing_ this. Finally Adora seemed to catch back up to the real world.

“Yeah, I do. A lot. You look beautiful.”

Catra blushed. A rush of gender euphoria entered her chest along with the fluttering embarrassment of the compliment. Smiling widely, she responded, “you do too, dork.” 

Standing up, Catra walked over to stand next to her. The two of them stood a meek distance apart, as if both were afraid to initiate physical contact. Their awkwardness was interrupted from an exaggerated sigh from Glimmer.

“Can y’all just make out already so the rest of us can stop suffering at your obvious gay uselessness?” She signed.

That secured a flush of heat in both their cheeks. They did not fulfill her request though, simply opting for holding hands. The large, closed-fingered mittens Adora had just slid on made this slightly difficult, but they managed. Adora smiled down at Catra and nodded towards the front door, as if asking if she was ready to go. Catra gave an affirming nod and the two of them set off. 

  
  
  


Night had fallen while Catra was in the apartment. The last lingering rays of light illuminated the horizon grey, but the rest of the sky was fading quickly to black. 

The pair walked without words, enjoying the warmth of each other’s presence in the chilly air. Adora led Catra at a comfortable pace towards the eerie shadow of The Whispering Woods. The forest at night was creepy, and seeing the sea of black trees ahead looked daunting.

Catra turned to Adora, hoping the low light wouldn’t diminish how easy her signs were to read.

“Y’know, if anyone else tried to lead me into a dark forest at night, I’d think they were trying to murder me and hide the body.”

Adora put on an expression of mock horror. Awkwardly pulling at her gloves to free her fingers, she replied, “I would never! Just trust me. It’s worth the walk.”

Catra nodded and the pair continued their trec along the sidewalks. Pavement faded to dirt as they arrived at the edge of the woods. Adora confidently made their way towards an opening in the trees. 

Under the blanket of night, and with thick branches covering them from all sides, it was almost impossible to see. Thankfully, Adora had thought ahead and brought a flashlight. The beam of light seemed almost too dim, as if the forest was swallowing as much of it as it could. Still, Adora led on, never wavering for a moment. 

They walked for what felt like an age. Catra could swear it took them nearly half an hour to reach wherever Adora was taking them. When they finally arrived, Catra wasn’t sure what they had even arrived at. It was a T-intersection, where the road hit another path horizontally.

“We’re here!”

Adora was smiling at Catra expectantly.

“We’re where? This is just a dead end.”

“Only if you don’t know what’s just off the path.”

Catra was beginning to get frustrated at how mysteriously Adora was looking at her. Still, she followed as the girl grabbed her hand and led her off the path. They made their way through dense brush and thick foliage, branches catching on their clothes and scraping their faces. Catra was almost positive they were lost when the forest suddenly opened up into a clearing.

It was about 15 feet in diameter, covered by a lush grass, and almost a perfect circle. It looked like it hadn’t been touched in centuries. The sky was open above them, spilling silver light over the entire area. That wasn’t what was special about this place, though. As Catra came into view of the opening her jaw dropped.

Set in the sky; cascading across the entirety of it were thousands upon thousands of stars. It almost looked like the sky was white with how many there were. The distinct cloud shape of the galaxy was perfectly visible, lighting up the center of this display. Catra could only stand and stare. No picture could ever prepare her for this. She almost couldn’t believe the contrast of the smoke-covered blackness of The Fright Zone being so close to this. 

She walked slowly into the middle of the circle, eyes never leaving the sky. Catra hadn’t seen a sky full of stars since she was a child, and even then it could never have compared to this. She heard footsteps and felt tingling lightning bolts rush through her as she felt Adora’s hands on her hips, stomach pressing against her back. Catra couldn’t even turn to look at Adora for several minutes. 

When she did, she knew her absolute awe was written across her face. Adora was grinning smugly down at her.

“How’s this for a secret getaway?”

Her signs were perfectly visible in the light of the stars, in fact the clearing was lit so brightly it almost looked like daytime. 

“Adora, this… how did you even find this?”

“I run through the woods every morning. I try to take a new path each time, to discover something new. One day, my path took me here. I don’t know how I knew it was here, it just felt like something calling to me. I honestly thought that if I could hear, the woods would be calling my name. So I made my way in, and I found this. I don’t think anyone else in the whole world has been here before. It’s like a bubble in time. No clouds ever cross the sky, it’s like it was made for me. Made for us.”

Catra nodded, still unable to hide how stunned she was. Still, there was something even more beautiful than all the stars in the sky standing in front of her just then. Some _one_ she cared for more deeply than anything else. 

Catra leaned in and placed the side of her head against Adora’s chest, cuddling into their warmth. Adora hugged Catra, holding her close, swaying slightly. This felt like heaven. She was in the most comfortable place in the universe, in a secluded spot where nobody could ever interrupt them. When she did pull back, she immediately missed the feeling against her skin.

“This is the most breathtaking place I’ve ever seen in my life. I never knew this kind of beauty was even possible.” She smirked slyly before adding, “and the stars are nice, too.”

Adora rolled their eyes.

“When did you get so cheesy, Catra? I thought you were supposed to be cool and smooth.”

Catra shrugged. She didn’t have a response, and didn’t need one. The two sat, soaking in the sight above them. The grass was cool and soft, not itchy or uncomfortable. After a long pause, Catra began to sign again. 

“Hey, Adora?”

“What’s up?”

“I just um. Wow this was a lot more coherent in my head.”

Catra desperately tried to figure out how to put everything she had realized that day into words. Adora waited patiently.

“I really just wanted to say how grateful I am to be here. To have you here. You’ve changed me for the better more in the past few months than I’ve grown as a person my whole life. I feel like I’ve learned so much. You’ve taught me entirely new ways to show I care that I never even thought were possible before. Being with you has opened up a new level of comfort and joy within me that I never knew existed. I thought I was destined to be alone, hopeless, a dysphoric mess for the rest of my life. But now? I feel so at peace. So happy. I feel so damn lucky to have you here, showing me I can always be better.”

Adora had a hint of tears glistening in her eyes. Or maybe that was the reflection of all the stars above her. 

“And you’ve taught me more about comfort than I ever expected to find anywhere in the world.”

Adora scooted closer, so that their knees were bumping with Catra’s.

“When I’m with you, I feel at home in my body. Like it doesn’t matter how it looks, as long as it’s next to yours. I’ve never laughed so much in my life than when we stay up texting. You showed me how to slow down, how to care for myself. When you took me to your rooftop, I felt truly safe. Safe in the way I only feel in one other place. Here. Honestly, Catra? I think we’re made for each other.”

Catra was inclined to agree, though she had to roll her eyes. She had never been convinced of the existence of “soul mates,” but looking at Adora seemed to be a pretty good argument for them to her. 

“I could call you cheesy and ridiculous, which you are, but honestly, I’m starting to think you’re right.”

She glanced back up to the shimmering sea of sparkling lights above her. When she looked down at Adora again, she saw it. That look. The fourth time she had seen it. And this time, Catra knew what it was. She suddenly became nervous, swallowing as if she knew what was coming next. Still, her heart was pounding and she felt elated.

“Catra?” Adora signed tentatively.

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Catra smiled warmly at her.

“Of course you can, dummy.”

And so she did. The pounding in Catra’s chest crescendoed as their lips met. She reached up and placed her hands on the sides of Adora’s neck, gently stroking her jaw with her thumbs. She felt Adora tentatively placing her hands on Catra’s waist.

Catra felt her neck and face burning as she could almost feel her blood flowing to every part of her body. They both held on for a long time, not wanting to break the magic of the moment. 

Her whole day had been leading up to this, no, her whole life, and still Catra couldn’t even begin to fathom the depths of the joy racing through her. This is where she belonged, curled lovingly in Adora’s arms.

Finally, they broke apart, cheeks rosy and grinning at each other. Their hands met, fingers interlacing gently. The two of them moved back, resting against the soft grass and positioning themselves so that they were right next to each other, staring up at the galaxy above them. 

The air was cold, but both of them had the kind of warmth filling them as they laid side by side that kept the chill at bay without need of blankets or coats. 

After a long moment, Catra shifted her gaze to the side. Adora’s face was glowing in the starlight in a way that almost tore the breath from Catra’s lungs. Adora turned to return the gesture, eyes meeting Catra’s, shining a comforting grey-blue. She was absolutely gorgeous.

The entirety of the heavens were laid out in front of them, it seemed like every star in the universe was visible from their little clearing. But all Catra wanted to look at was Adora. All Adora wanted to look at was Catra. A single, shared thought drifted through their minds as the pair smiled at one another.

“Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.”

Catra moved forward, planting a gentle kiss on the tip of Adora’s nose. This, she thought, is the only thing that matters. 

And so the two of them laid there, in their small patch of heaven that only they knew. Time didn’t matter here. The only thing that mattered was that they were together. Adora and Catra. Safe in each other’s arms. Adora leaned forward, mouth next to Catra’s ear. Though she couldn’t hear the words she whispered, she knew they meant the world to Catra.

“I love you.”

The intensity of the kiss they received for that far outmatched that of the first they had shared. 

  
Afterward, the two of them laid back in each other’s arms. As the night grew, hour after hour passing at a slow and comfortable pace, they drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Catra returned her head into the nook between Adora’s shoulder and neck. Her nose nuzzled against them in an attempt to get as close as possible. The fresh air filled their lungs with every breath, grass soft beneath them, cushioning their bodies.

Eventually, their breaths become slow and deep. The gentle circles they traced on each other’s skin grew sloppy and tired before ceasing altogether. Though they were camped outside on a winter night, this was the most comfortable either of them had ever been. 

Catra and Adora. 

Adora and Catra.

Together at last. Now and always.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This might end up being kind of strange because I actually absolutely love the way Catra’s voice sounds, but tbh my brain is still very much in She-Ra mode and I relate to Catra too much to not write this from her perspective so here goes I guess???!! And yeah, Black Garnet is just Hot Topic. Sue me, Catra would definitely work there


End file.
